Fast forward to 2006.
The hair is grey and not so abundant, but that's ok; it makes me look distinguished. Due to an oversight, I ran out of razor blades about 2 weeks ago, so I sprouted some rather fetching designer stubble. Then, I thought, bugger the razor blades and the expense, why not go for the luxuriant growth of yesteryear? So the cultivation began in earnest....................
Fast forward to today.
It has to go. My once luxuriant moustache is ginger!!! Ginger, I tell you!! Could anything be worse?? Oh yes it can: the dashing chin whiskers are a random mixture of black, white and grey. And there are bald patches!! Even my follicles are conspiring against me. And I certainly don't remember that infernal itching. Or the amusement of my so called friends. The nail in the coffin was the innocent comment: "you could try Just For Men". That tipped me over the edge. The thought of looking like, or being thought of in the same breath as, that vacuous cretin in the ads has driven me to buy some blades. The deed will be done this very evening.
So my handsome features will once again be exposed to the glorious british weather. What I do remember is that it'll be bloody cold without the face fur.
Heed this advice, dear readers (especially the female ones). Don't try to relive your youth. You weren't cool or trendy then. Your mind has played an evil trick on you. You looked like a pillock then. And if you're not careful you'll end up looking like an pillock again, but older.
Cheers til next time
This blog entry was brought to you by excruciating boredom.