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Ramblings 7/5
Posted by
Cinco
,
06 July 2009
·
102 views
WARNING: I'm back to my old ways, this post is BIIIIIIIIG, kind of like a Maine coon cat or 33.3% of the population of Mississippi's over-18s according to the 2009 "wow we're fat" study. It was in fact called that, or should've been. Did you know my state MA is the least-obese state? Despite the 83 Dunkin Donuts per square mile. Though the 12-17s are startlingly large according to the study. Which is startling because the tail end of that group (the 16-17s) are MY prom date prospects which is bad because 1 out of every 1 of them is obese. Not really. I lied. With phys ed cut they probsies will be, and so will I, and stuff. Let's cry.
I counted, or at least had God's Great and Big and Grand and Exciting Interwebs That All Under-18s Should Be Banned From Even If That Means Me count for me. 57 days left until school. That's good. Less is more. Because I want to go back. The faster I get back the less time she has to forget who the hell I am (if she ever even knew which SHE DID), and the more time I have to do some stuff.
However, it also means I have to get going on some summer reading. Good Lord.
I just wanna listen to my 80s music. And I am. Sunday night is awesome. One of the radio stations plays all 80s music from 10 to midnight on Sunday. So I listen. In the summer at least, not when there's school. And when I have Monday off. Which makes Memorial Day weekend so cool, Monaco, then Indy, then life, then 80s music on the friggin radio. Radio's cool. Don't own an iPod, and don't intend on it, though you can get Internet radio on an iPod Touch which is cool-ish.
But here's the thing: the program started at 10:02. So what 2 minutes got cut out? See, there's a program where these fat people with beards and stuff (I don't know for a fact, I can't see the people on the radio, but you could tell they were fat and had really long beards and a general disregard for personal hygiene like most people with beards have, sorry if you have a beard, if it doesn't have chunks of 5 year old tuna fish in its okay to have a beard, I think, this kid in my chem class the past school year had this awful beard he never cut and it had dandruff and meatballs and a small dog in it, I think, maybe. It looked like pubic hair by the way if you wanted a visual. He also wore really short sweaters with pants three sizes too small and no underwear and he happened to sit juuuust where he needed to be so every time we watched a video, which we did a lot because my teacher showed us the same video on fireworks twice once because we convinced her the tape didn't work when we had a substitute so we didn't watch it, though really we had, and then she realized she wanted to show us a different video on fireworks, so we wasted three days, anyway, every time we did that I had to look at the ceiling or else I'd see things no man wants to see except for George). Anyway I have no idea where I was. The people, yeah. Their radio show was supposed to end at 10, not 10:02. But instead she decided to read a little poem for 2 minutes. This was it. Not really but it's pretty close considering I didn't listen fully and it was by memory.
Seriously, how does that meannastyword get on radio? It's corrupting the minds of people who tuned in at 10 to hear 80s pop music. It's stupid. I hate people who challenge the system because the system friggin works well enough for me and stuff, and I think that's why I hate teenagers, and stuff.
But I'm not a hater. Sort of. Sometimes.
The superhappyfun festival of superhappyfun and bratwurst was this week. I didn't attend cuz I have no friends and suck at life.
Not really but not attending does put me closer to a loser than normal since I used to go every single day with people who don't have penises.
And one time with some Portuguese kid and I introduced him to the love of his life there though that didn't really work out to well for him.
Man, they picked some rough songs tonight.
They actually played one of those songs at sophomore banquet that's how lame it is. Good times, I think. There was this one kid who didn't go cuz he's a loser who probably listens to the 9-10:02 show...
So for the exciting conclusion of the conversation...
And I accomplished my goal of making him never talk to me again which is good cuz he thinks I'm dumb because I listen to happy people music instead of sad, angry, unappreciative, annoying, obnoxious, piece of Sh#t "waaaaaah no one understands me" people music.
But as a peer leader I accept him because we need to accept everyone. But it's kind of awesome to have power because I can convince all the open-minded incoming students to live life MY way so I can have this totally cool Christian happy people left side of the right wing super-abstinence agenda and they'll eat it up and then I'll be in the majority and have saved the world from itself and stuff.
Not really.
But I do hope I get my neighbors in my group of kids I can spread propaganda to. See, they like to go down our street, it's a hill, biiiiig hill, riding on a swivel chair and some housewife or me or Godzilla is gonna hit them and have to live with the fact they ended a promising young person of America's life.
So I hope I have them so I can just, totally nonchalantly be like...
Marvel at my quote-within-a-quoting abilities. You couldn't do it.
Anyway, I do like Europe actually, I just don't have anyone else to make fun of and stuff, and I try to distribute it evenly between them and Southern Americans. Some day I will visit Europe and stuff, especially Sweden, Sweden's cooooooool, sort of. And I guess maybe EuroBritain maybe. It's tough to say and all because I don't like tea and I'm not sure I really know how to navigate those crazy cow paths all the castles are on.
But I hear they have good driving roads in the part of it where it's all empty and stuff. Which is great for me and any of the three unoffensive Japanese motor vehicular appliances in my family's garage.
Anyway, if you manage to read all this, by the time you get done it'll be like, 10 days til I go back to school, and then you'll see less of me, maybe. It depends how boring computer science is (it's a toss up between extremely and utterly profoundly passionately disgracefully dull, probsies the latter), maybsies if no one's looking I'll secretly post here during school.
JAY KAY I'd never do that so don't worry.
Okay so I'm really not saying anything of anything or anything like that so have yourself a really fun July 6, or 6 July, or 6th July if you're a contrary EuroBrit who needs the th to know if you should say "sixth" or "sixst" or "sixond" or whatever. Silly billies, and they think we're dumb. Well I guess if we use phrases like silly billies maybe we ARE a tad daft.
I counted, or at least had God's Great and Big and Grand and Exciting Interwebs That All Under-18s Should Be Banned From Even If That Means Me count for me. 57 days left until school. That's good. Less is more. Because I want to go back. The faster I get back the less time she has to forget who the hell I am (if she ever even knew which SHE DID), and the more time I have to do some stuff.
However, it also means I have to get going on some summer reading. Good Lord.
I just wanna listen to my 80s music. And I am. Sunday night is awesome. One of the radio stations plays all 80s music from 10 to midnight on Sunday. So I listen. In the summer at least, not when there's school. And when I have Monday off. Which makes Memorial Day weekend so cool, Monaco, then Indy, then life, then 80s music on the friggin radio. Radio's cool. Don't own an iPod, and don't intend on it, though you can get Internet radio on an iPod Touch which is cool-ish.
But here's the thing: the program started at 10:02. So what 2 minutes got cut out? See, there's a program where these fat people with beards and stuff (I don't know for a fact, I can't see the people on the radio, but you could tell they were fat and had really long beards and a general disregard for personal hygiene like most people with beards have, sorry if you have a beard, if it doesn't have chunks of 5 year old tuna fish in its okay to have a beard, I think, this kid in my chem class the past school year had this awful beard he never cut and it had dandruff and meatballs and a small dog in it, I think, maybe. It looked like pubic hair by the way if you wanted a visual. He also wore really short sweaters with pants three sizes too small and no underwear and he happened to sit juuuust where he needed to be so every time we watched a video, which we did a lot because my teacher showed us the same video on fireworks twice once because we convinced her the tape didn't work when we had a substitute so we didn't watch it, though really we had, and then she realized she wanted to show us a different video on fireworks, so we wasted three days, anyway, every time we did that I had to look at the ceiling or else I'd see things no man wants to see except for George). Anyway I have no idea where I was. The people, yeah. Their radio show was supposed to end at 10, not 10:02. But instead she decided to read a little poem for 2 minutes. This was it. Not really but it's pretty close considering I didn't listen fully and it was by memory.
Fat old hippie lady with a beard and things said:
The spirits are coming back, they have unfinished business, but they're gentle, so don't worry, if we all just live in a world of bunnies and Volkswagens we'll all be okay, and stuff, so embrace the spirits and don't embrace religion and respect weird loser people who say meannastyword the system
Seriously, how does that meannastyword get on radio? It's corrupting the minds of people who tuned in at 10 to hear 80s pop music. It's stupid. I hate people who challenge the system because the system friggin works well enough for me and stuff, and I think that's why I hate teenagers, and stuff.
But I'm not a hater. Sort of. Sometimes.
The superhappyfun festival of superhappyfun and bratwurst was this week. I didn't attend cuz I have no friends and suck at life.
Not really but not attending does put me closer to a loser than normal since I used to go every single day with people who don't have penises.
And one time with some Portuguese kid and I introduced him to the love of his life there though that didn't really work out to well for him.
Man, they picked some rough songs tonight.
They actually played one of those songs at sophomore banquet that's how lame it is. Good times, I think. There was this one kid who didn't go cuz he's a loser who probably listens to the 9-10:02 show...
Quote
Kid whose Facebook pic is this fat bald guy wearing a Kellogg's Frosted Flakes aka Frosties in EuroDisney or whatever the EU calls itself now, it seems like Disney they all drive these tiny brightly colored car-like things and they're all creepy so I guess it's perfect, anyway, if that's your picture you're really stupid, I mean, unless your George cuz that's actually a picture of HIM, but like, if you're not George, don't try to be George, cuz for all the George bashing I do he's a good kid/adult/senior citizen/meerkat/pornbot/etc but anyway this kid's a loser, speaking of George, there was this redneck guy posting somewhere about Tony George of IRL...I don't know the word, not fame, cuz no one cares about the IRL, but something like that...and he kept spelling it Tony Gorge as he was going on and on and on about how the engines need to be in the front and we need more Muricans like Billy Boat and other absolutely rubbish drivers who couldn't make a right-hand turn in an empty parking lot like I CAN cuz I did today as a matter of fact in my wonderful adventure of learning to safely operate motor vehicular-related objects like my mom's Japanese unoffensive to everyone who isn't offended by SUVs SUV said: (I had to do that cuz it didn't fit 
) I heard you acted pretty gay at banquet.
) I heard you acted pretty gay at banquet.So for the exciting conclusion of the conversation...
Me said:
Yeah, I was thinking about you the whole time.
And I accomplished my goal of making him never talk to me again which is good cuz he thinks I'm dumb because I listen to happy people music instead of sad, angry, unappreciative, annoying, obnoxious, piece of Sh#t "waaaaaah no one understands me" people music.
But as a peer leader I accept him because we need to accept everyone. But it's kind of awesome to have power because I can convince all the open-minded incoming students to live life MY way so I can have this totally cool Christian happy people left side of the right wing super-abstinence agenda and they'll eat it up and then I'll be in the majority and have saved the world from itself and stuff.
Not really.
But I do hope I get my neighbors in my group of kids I can spread propaganda to. See, they like to go down our street, it's a hill, biiiiig hill, riding on a swivel chair and some housewife or me or Godzilla is gonna hit them and have to live with the fact they ended a promising young person of America's life.
So I hope I have them so I can just, totally nonchalantly be like...
Eric, and that should say will say, not said said:
Yeah, you know, in high school, you have to make responsible decisions, like, I don't know, maybe like not riding down ****ing hills on a swivel chair. Instead, be like me and post incoherent-yet-coherent-and-generally-awesome-and-stuff bloggings on an Internet forum about a sport you've never heard of unless you took first-year Spanish honors like me cuz I was a lazy b#####d and while I was supposed to be in second-year Spanish honors as a freshman I was like no, I'm two years ahead in math, not going a year ahead in something else, and didn't, and then once in my cool 1991 textbook they talked about F1, it was like "they race F1 in Mexico" and then the teacher was like "who knows what F1 is?" and I didn't raise my hand cuz I'm TOO COOL to blow my cover as not actually being cool and no one knew so she described it as "they're these small cars that are small and they go fast but it's all really dumb" and then this kid who rarely ever bathed was like "I really like them actually" and I was like AHHH YOU DON'T BATHE I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU WERE FRENCH but actually that was a lie he was born here sadly and he's annoying, his Vietnamese rent-a-bride aka high school girlfriend who drives this awful 1995 Honda Civic with all these stickers like "Be Gay, It's Okay!" and stuff and it's like well yeah I'm sure it is okay they can't control it but are you suggesting something? Anyway she had ONE LINE in some movie starring D-listers-at-best Dane Cook and Steve Carrell and all he ever does is brag about that and it's like gee they filmed a movie in Providence and wanted an Asian to avoid a lawsuit and there aren't many in Uppermiddleclasswhitepeople, Massachusetts, so you know...I mean not to discredit her that's cool and all that she was in she can like show her grandchildren that and be like "Grandchildren, this was me, in a movie" and they probsies won't care but oh well, none of us appreciate those moments until it's too late, I kind of regret not knowing my grandfather though I could cuz he's still sharp as ever closing in on 90, he designed helicopters and the firstest ever hovercraft and stuff, cool guy, smart, I didn't inherit the smart stuff, anyway, back to the point, it's like, shut up, no one cares, she's a cast extra, my 8th grade geometry teacher was a cast extra in an underground porn film, JAY KAY it was some underground film about US American football, which is not North American football, cuz Canadian football makes no sense at all and I LOVE Canada so it takes a lot for me to admit that and Mexican football is that crazy a## soccer stuff you play but I like soccer, don't get me wrong, especially now that the US only partially sucks but not as bad as they used to I remember Boston Bruins hockey commentator Jack Edwards once exclaimed when the US national team beat Portugal. I bet Captain Porto-Potty (see what I did there?) who I took to the carnival didn't say that, though he really did he was born here, and stuff.
Quote
MINE EYES HATH SEEN THE GLORY
Marvel at my quote-within-a-quoting abilities. You couldn't do it.
Anyway, I do like Europe actually, I just don't have anyone else to make fun of and stuff, and I try to distribute it evenly between them and Southern Americans. Some day I will visit Europe and stuff, especially Sweden, Sweden's cooooooool, sort of. And I guess maybe EuroBritain maybe. It's tough to say and all because I don't like tea and I'm not sure I really know how to navigate those crazy cow paths all the castles are on.
But I hear they have good driving roads in the part of it where it's all empty and stuff. Which is great for me and any of the three unoffensive Japanese motor vehicular appliances in my family's garage.
Anyway, if you manage to read all this, by the time you get done it'll be like, 10 days til I go back to school, and then you'll see less of me, maybe. It depends how boring computer science is (it's a toss up between extremely and utterly profoundly passionately disgracefully dull, probsies the latter), maybsies if no one's looking I'll secretly post here during school.
JAY KAY I'd never do that so don't worry.
Okay so I'm really not saying anything of anything or anything like that so have yourself a really fun July 6, or 6 July, or 6th July if you're a contrary EuroBrit who needs the th to know if you should say "sixth" or "sixst" or "sixond" or whatever. Silly billies, and they think we're dumb. Well I guess if we use phrases like silly billies maybe we ARE a tad daft.
Yeah, definitely happy, and at least un poco daft. You can't watch NASCAR and not be daft 
