Surgery

In ten days, I have surgery. There is a chance in 4 that may end up a drooling idiot and another chance in 4 that I won't make it all. Considering my sitation, a 50% chance of getting through it is good enough for me.

Truth be said, I'm not at all concerned for myself. I made my peace with life long ago. But I have responsibilities, particularly my wife.

I will spend the next days discussing the different scenarios with her. The worst outcome will leave her in a precarious situation professionally and, far more importantly, personally. I will, therefore, be focussing on her well being and preparing her to be able to move on on her own if it comes down to that. It won't be easy, how could it be? But it is my responsibility to look after her and I will do my best, then some, then some more.

I make this post reluctantly for I don't want to put out more drama into this, our world, where there is already too much of it. Still, I like you lot and I feel that, in case I suddenly disappear, you are entitled to know what happened.

I won't get into the details. I'll only add that I'm strong and focussed on collaborating with doctors in order to provide the best possible patient, one that creates the minimal amount of trouble for anyone and allows all to do their jobs without having to babysit me.

If things go... hmmm, if things don't go, remember that I welcome the chance to step into the beyond elsewhere. My expectations are none so I will for sure not be disappointed. As a matter of fact, were it not for my responsibilities, I would welcome this, the final trip.

Take care of yourselves and others. There is little else that matters.