What I Really Think About University Part 2
I've had a...disappointing end to my first semester to say the least. I'm not going to feel too sorry for myself, just lay out the facts and let you decide.
So I'm a Twitter user. I use it more than Facebook. I prefer it more than Facebook. Most the time, I'm using it to promote my blog, or pieces I've written on other websites, and all in all it is a great website for connecting with like minded racing fans and bloggers.
Of course, I still put personal stuff on there, and a couple of months ago, I made two or maybe three comments regarding a girl that I liked. I know now that I was wrong too, for it seems the whole damn class I'm in has suddenly taken a close interest in my life. Let me stress that I did not make these comments recently - in fact, I stopped mentioning it quite soon as I realised people were too damn nosy for their own good.
But it seems, even though I haven't mentioned it in ages - people in my class have been reading my Twitter intently, going through conversations I've been having with people on there, seeing what else I'm saying. People I don't even talk to seem to be at it. One guy has even gone so far as to follow a female F1 blogger that I talk to occasionally on there. He doesn't have a big interest in motorsport and doesn't follow any other motorsport bloggers. If that's not f*cking weird, I don't know what is.
I later discovered that one who was trying to act as the peace maker was actually joining in with the other group in laughing at me. Two faced, worthless idiot.
The long and short of it is that I seem to have become something to laugh at for a particular group of people within my group. I thought people generally got past that phase in their life in school. Evidently not.
I just don't connect with people in my group. There's a few people I talk to, but generally, I like to be on my own. I commute to and from university. That means by definition I'm not the typical student - I'm not involved with going out every night, drinking, throwing up, being stupid. That has never appealed to me, and never will appeal to me either. Whether that makes me a bigger target for them to laugh at I don't know, but it is something I've considered.
I didn't particularly enjoy school, but there were plenty of people I got on with and talked to. Here...I don't know, they're just a different type of person to me. Perhaps it was only inevitable that it'd be like this after such a long time with essentially the same group of people at school, that I was with from 2004 to 2011. Just the culture of university doesn't appeal to me, and neither do the people. The course is fine, I enjoy the course and the staff are fine too - I actually get on better with the staff than I do with the people on my course, but when you're with a group of people like that, it does make you question whether carrying on at uni is perhaps the best thing to do.
You just know when you're in a journalism group and the majority of the people in the class don't know who the Prime Minister is, or who the leader of other parties are, that you are with the wrong people. After uni got so hyped up from school - and after seeing my sister enjoy it so much, I had rather expected better.
At least it is the summer. I have an exam on the 15th and it is inevitable that I will have to see them then - but otherwise, I'm looking forward to a long summer holiday and forgetting about it. I've unfollowed, unfriended and blocked everyone from uni on Twitter/Facebook to avoid contact. Maybe after a long summer of not hearing from me, and me not hearing from them, things will be better when we start back in September. If it isn't, well, I'm only there for three years and I'll be done before I know it. If it means I have to work on my own - I'm totally fine with that. I prefer working on my own, I prefer being on my own in general.
I'm not angry, just disappointed. After hearing how wonderful and brilliant university would be, and how it is the greatest three years of your life, blah di blah, all I can think is what a huge f*cking disappointment it all is. After looking forward to uni so much, I now can't wait to leave.