Quiet One sustains... Syndication Sun, 29 Mar 2009 00:23:03 +0000 wez@totalf1.com (TotalF1.com Forums) IP.Blog 60
Only a few more races to finish my review, but my ISP decided to give up on me. It's been a week now that I've been having troubles with my internet connection and my provider can't give me any solutions. What's even worse, they also are the Cable TV providers so I have no idea how will I watch the Melbourne GP! (Not to easy to find a friend willing to let me go to his/her house at 3 a.m. to watch the race!)

I am positively bummed.

]]> Mon, 23 Mar 2009 19:05:00 +0000
Soooo....everybody was unhappy after Spa. Too bad. It was a great race, more or less. Hamilton fans thought he was robbed. Hamilton haters thought he ruined the race penalty or not. Your usual F1 controversy. In that aspect, he just joined the club of the big names. Schumi, Lauda, Senna, Prost...all were involved in such controversies at one moment or another.

Monza was all about rain, timing, skills, luck...and gay men.

FIA reviews show a lap onboard with comments from one of the drivers before the actual clip of the race. For Monza, they chose Adrian Sutil, the Running Gaylord. Commenting his lap does nothing to give him a rugged, macho appareance.

Then, of course, we get to see Vettel. He has that same quality which shares also with Nico Rosberg. These guys have so much in common with the likes of Mansell, or Fitipaldi as I do with Arnold Schwarzennegger. And finally...the STR pitcrew. How can I describe them? Gays. Now that was easy!

No, I am not homophobic. I just love to make these remarks! You see, when I was a kid and I even had hair, I was your typical geeky, small and weak guy. Bullies were never too harsh on me, I must admit, but still I was no macho symbol. So something in the back of my mind always told me during my teens "you are not much of a man!". Luckily for me, the year 2000 arrived and with it the new men paradigm. Metrosexuals and such. Suddenly I became some sort of Bruce Willis, even if I am still as geeky and weak, only because guys started to "get more in touch with their feminine side". Is it good? Is it bad? Who cares! I have a blast out of it!


Sorry, I disgress as usual. So, back to work...

Like I said, Monza was all about timing. Vettel had it and thanks to his qaulifying times earlier during the session he ended up on pole. Kimi and Lewis failed again to impress under the wet, and Massa, the only guy to have an actual chance to defy Vettel's pole, qulaified 6th...after Silverstone he obviously never pushed hard again in the wet. Kimi and Lewis ended up a meager 14th and 15th. Nando 8th. Heikki 2nd, Webbo 3rd (oh, MW, why you are always so close yet so far from actually showing you can?) and Bourdais 4th.

Race starts under SC. Bourdais bad luck continues as he can't even start, his engine stalled. So from 4th to one lap down before the race even had started. Ouch. After 2 laps the SC pulls out and it's all about Vettel and a huge spray behind him. Conditions were so atrocious you can see from the onboard camera on Kubica's car that he passes Heidfeld for 9th without even realizing it. Kimi and Lewis battle against Fisichella's FI for position. Yeah, it was that bad.

Ok, a few other comments on some drivers before focusing on what was really important:

1) Vettel: we all know what happened. He managed to finish first from lead. Great job blah blah blah. Not enough to make him the next big thing but it was a big step forward and he would later show some more skills to certainly make him a guy to follow closely in the next few years. Wonderful performace and lots of luck, too.

2) DC: broke his own record and managed to take of the track both Fisichella and Nakajima.

3) Massa: Not too shabby. He started and ended 6th, though. He could have done much worse, though.

4) Alonso: 4tht again. The guy was quietly improving. Nobody noticed, though.

5) Kimi: Uninspired as usual this year. He managed to climb up some positions, but mostly thanks to pit strategy.

6) Kubica: Again the guy gave all he had. And again he managed to get a podium. And again it was worth s##t thanks to Dr.Mario.

7) Heikki: 2nd place! Wow...was the guy really improving? Nah.

Now for the important part:

Hamilton: surprised huh? Well, for me this one was a lot better than his Silverstone or Spa's performances. His team strategy sucked, and that hindered him in the end, but he managed to give a lesson on how to climb up the field. Yes, his car was much better than the other guys, but we must also remember that with these cars, overtaking is never that easy. He overtook every car imaginable without having to cut the chicane (see Hammy? you can do it!). Well, actually he did that while trying to overtake Trulli but he gave the place back.

Of course, being Hammy he can't be happy unless he does something dumb. In this case, his overtaking manoeuvre on Timo. He purposedly pushed Timo off the track. It was evident back then, and watching the race again does nothing to excuse him. He just moves to his side with no other reason than to push Timo off, he already had the advantage. Why? Who knows?

In any case, it was just a minor spot on on of his brilliant drives of the year.

Next stop: Singapore!


]]> Thu, 19 Mar 2009 20:11:00 +0000
Ok...so they raced and whoever got the most wins didn't win the championship. End of.

What? Oh, ok...I will continue with the reviews. But only because now it starts to look good for Nando! By the way, Igot the chance of watching the whole Turkey 2006 and Interlagos 2006 GPs. You should watch them again. We tend to think that lately there haven't been any legendary battles. That (thanks to youtube) in the old days it was a continuous Arnoux vs Villeneuve clip. Well it wasn't. Even in the old times it was a rare ocassion when you got to see a battle such as Schumi against Nando in Turkey. WATCH IT!!!

Now, about Spa. You name Spa and everybody chants like an idiot "My favourite track! I love Eau Rouge!". Well, it has been nerfed down so much it is barely as fun as it ever was. Too bad. It was still a thrilling race.

So, despite being the fastest at practice, the Ferraris lost to a blindingly fast Lewis in qualy. The order was: Lewis, Massa, Heikki, Kimi, Nick, Nando, Webbo, Kuby. It was time for Nick to do something. It was too late anyways, because Dr.Mario decided that they'd rather focused on developing their 2009 car, effectively making a joke of whatever effort his two brilliant drivers could put on track.

Just before the start, a shower left the track damp in some places and dry on others and everybody went for the softer compound (with the notable exception of Piquet).

Green lights! The usual chaos at turn one. Trulli, starting from 11th and also on the harder compound makes an astounding climbing up the field and almost battles for 3rd place...but Bourdais crashes against him at the corner and a little later is goodbye for the Italian.

Kovy loses some places after contact with Nick. Hamilton gets away on a blistering pace. Massa, meanwhile, was driving like an old lady and Kimi made an easy prey of him for second. In a rare display of spirit, Kimi went after Lewis with all he got. And Lewis spun by himself! It was so surprising that Kimi had to go off track not to crash against Hammy. Hammy kept going, though and rejoined just ahead of Kimi who was still trying to get back on track. They were nose to tail all the way past Eau Rouge and Kimi finally got past Lewis. It would be Kimi's greatest moment in the whole season.

Meanwhile, back down the field, Heikki entertains the audience with his patented dumb move ®. He get a bit optimistic on a move on Webber and touches Webbo's car, earning himself a drive thru in the process "for being an utter nullity" (As the steward's decision said, but it was sadly censored by the Finn Mafia)

While Webber lost many places (he was 6th and in good shape until then) and Heikki muttered excuses on the radio, Piquet decided to go into action. He lost the car and crashed in the barriers. Nobody knew at the time but he was just practicing some skills that would be welcome in the future... His comments after the race: "It's a shame because I'm sure we could have done something today."(sic) As opposed to the nothing he usually did so far, I guess...

In the fianl laps rain started to pour and, as usual at Spa, it became a puzzle for race engineers and strategists because of the varying conditions on the track. Lewis was 5 seconds adrift from Kimi but closing in fast.

3 laps to go. Lewis go for it at La Source. Kimi closes the door and Lewis cuts the chicane. Lots of controversy and blah, blah, Hamilton, blah. My opinion: he deserved a penalty. He didn't deserve THAT penalty, though. Anyways, Kimi crashed aftewards after displaying a dismal control of the car under the wet. So much for the King of Spa. Lewis managed to finish first only because Kimi sucked and Massa was still driving like an old lady. By the end, Lewis was driving like two old ladies. It was a fine display until then though (well...aside from spinning by himself and cutting the chicane...ahem!)

Best drives? Nick and Nando. From 9th to 3rd and from 8th to 4th on the last lap. Both switched to wet tires on the final lap and the gamble paid handsomely. If you want to take into account who was the best among those who didn't change tires then it would have to be Bourdais. The guy was poised for a podium until the rain made him finish 7th.]]> Tue, 17 Mar 2009 21:34:00 +0000
Welcome to Hungary, home of the yawnfests.

Sooooo....first 1-2 for the Maccas at the starting grid. Then Massa, Kubica, Glock (?), Kimi, Alonso, Webber...whatever.

Green light. Hamilton has a good start. Kovy's start sucks. Massa is flying and he makes a wonderful overtaking move on Lewis at turn one. It's the only fleeting moment of F1 beauty you will see during the whole race. But it was a beauty! Kudos for Massa, I didn't remember that one.

Ermmm...what else? Oh yeah, it was so darn hot that during refuelling stops Bourdais, Nakajima, Barrichello and Bourdais again saw their cars catching fire from a problem with the fuel hose. By his second pitstop, Bourdais and his car looked like a moving Christmas ornament.

Meanwhile, too many locking of wheels for Hamilton ended up in his front left tire being destroyed just as he passed the pits entry, which meant having to go around the track on 3 tires. Not too good for his championship. Massa pulling away and everybody else just enjoying the merry go round ride.

Until just less 3 laps from the finish...

That's sad! Massa's car gives up. You can see him grabbing his helmet while the car is still on the track, the guy totally devastated. It was a huge effort from his part but it just wasn't meant to be.

Who won? Kovalainen...that's just how much that race sucked. Glock ended up second, the only great news from the race, the guy really gave his best. Third Kimi, and fourth Alonso, not bad from those two but nothing to write home about. 5th Hammy with a succesful damage limitation. He had to drive most of the race on the softer compound after the tire incident so it was really a great feat from him, kudos for Hammy, too! Not brilliant, but those drives are the ones that win a championship when you are not at your best. Then Piquet, Trulli...awww who cares?]]> Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:31:00 +0000
So far, the guy showed nothing up to the hype that was built around him. Oh, yeah, did I told you that I hate his guts? I mean, I really hate his guts. The guy could resurrect the dead and I still will keep on mumbling "boooring!" while looking at my fingernails.

Ahh, feels so much better when I get that stuff off my chest!

What? Oh, yes! The race! Sorry!

Yeah, they had some practice and some qualifying and it was boring as usual and perspectives were that the race would be just as boring.

Relevant qualy positions: 1) Hammy, 2) Massa, 3) Kovy, 4) Trulli, 5) Alonso, 6) Kimi (you suck!), 7) Kubica, 8) Webbo...*yawn*, 17) Piquet...

Race: Kimi has an awful start. Were did he got that WDC cup? I bet he bought it on eBay or something. Kubica gets past him. Piquet on 17th, the guy was loaded with a couple thousand gallons of fuel in a one stopper strategy. He drives like a madman trucker. Nakajima and Barrichello breeze past him...When you ponder that the country that once gave us the great late Ayrton now is giving us this guy and the other one that mixes up the gear up lever with the laundry machine's spin mode, you fear for Brazil's future.

At the front, Kovy is on Massa's tail. Alonso tries to get past Trulli and misses the braking point while Trulli frantically fights with the steering wheel trying to cover every angle while keeping the car straight. As a result, Kubica takes 4th, Trulli is now 5th and Alonso is still 6th. Then it's Kimi's time to get past Nando...oh, dear...

Crash! Glock loses the car entering the main straight and smashes it against the pitwall. Watching the on board footage is scary, the car is facing backwards and you can see the cars coming at the speed of sound amidst the debris. It was a rather violent crash, and a dazed Glock must be helped from the car. Safety car time. But wait! Just before the SC was deployed, Nelsinho made his one and only stop of the race! It was a very bad time for the SC to be deployed as everybody was close to their pitstop window.

Ferrari is so desperate when the pitlane opens that the cars get in queue behind each other to refuel. Hamilton, who was consistently pulling away did not come in. A weird decision from the pitwall that would force him to conserve his tires, something he has never been good at. Vettel is thrown back alongside Alonso and then he muscles his way past Nando at the pitlane's exit. Alonso must have displayed the infinite nuances of the art of swearing in spanish. It's a fun thing to watch. Too bad that now that it gets sometime punished and sometimes not, it kind of lost its charm. IMHO, those moves should be allowed. At least this time nobody even blink at Vettel's c#ckiness. In future races this would be source of endless controversies.

So, its race time again. Everybody tries to re accomodate in the mixed up field. Kimi retakes his position from Nando who can only watch. Flavio shakes his fists muttering words that would make a drunken Irish blush. Kimi is darting through the field, seems like he once in a while remembers he is a world champion after all. Massa is struggling to overtake Nelsinho who finds himself catapulted to 3rd place thanks to his lucky pitstop.

Barrichello tries to get past DC. Guess how that one ended up? Lewis finally makes his second pitstop and rejoins in 5th, right behind Kovy, his race apparently ruined by a safety car and the team's decision not to make him pit earlier. Lots of work ahead for Hammy. Of course, taking 4th from Kovy is nothing to write home about. Heidfeld pits from the lead (he didn't pit under the SC like Lewis). That means that *gasp* Piquet leads! You don't believe me? Let's rewind and play it on slow mo!

T-h-a-t m-e-a-n-s t-h-a-t *g-a-s-p* P-i-q-u-e-t l-e-a-d-s! See?

Massa 2nd, Lewis 3rd.

Now you would have thought that Massa, being ahead of Lewis and fighting for the championship, would have put a good fight. Wrong. The guy moved aside as if he was a backmarker being lapped. Shame on you, Felipinho! A couple of laps later, at the same spot, Hammy overtakes Piquet who doesn't either puts up a fight, happy not just of being 2nd, but of actually learning what is to get past lap 10 and still being on track.

Anyways, it's the end of the race and Lewis gave a lesson on how to win with authority. The guy had to endure an awful strategy, rebuild his lead (and even if both Massa and Piquet didn't put much of a fight, it was obvious that Lewis would have been up to the challenge). IMHO, his most convincing win this far. Piquet 2nd, Massa 3rd. Kimi, uninspired as usual on 6th and Nando on a dismal 11th.

See? I hate Lewis, but sometimes I must give the arrogant, hypocrytal, manipulative SOB some credit! Am I fair or what?

]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:45:00 +0000

In case you don't know me, I will begin right from the start by telling you a couple of very important things about me:

1) I hate Lewis guts.

2) I never found anything too special about Silverstone. I find it highly unremarkable from a spectator's point of view. I admit is a blast to race it on some video game for its fast corners, but it's no Montreal, or Monaco, or Monza.

Good news is that Silverstone has rain which makes it a lot better on the average like borefests a la Magny Cours or Hungaroring. And last year it was actually very fun to watch due to rain in biblical proportions. Also, it was one of Lewis finest moments.

Bad news is that after watching the review, it was nothing as I recalled it. And the results aren't too flattering for Lewis so I hesitated a lot on how to write this entry...


Practice: Alonso's car spilled some oil on the track. Massa's car passed over it resulting in a crash which damaged the car's rear. It was only the beginning for one of Massa's most embarrassing moments in his career...

Qualy: Heikki on pole? You gotta be kidding. Well, actually, Kovy was kidding as we soon found out when the race started. Webber was second, just to keep up our hopes than he will be someday a serious contender. Much like christians await the imminent second coming...

Kimi 3rd after his usual mistake at qualy, Lewis 4th after his usual mistake at qualy....then came Heidfeld, Alonso, Piquet and Massa, whose chances were ruined after his team took too much time to change his tires and couldn't make a second lap...it WOULD get worse...much worse...Kubica was tenth due to car woes.

Race: Green lights! On a still soaked track after a morning shower, Heikki has alousy start. Kimi gets trapped behind him as Webber moves behind him god knows why. That left Lewis ample space to overtake both Kimi and Webbo before the first corner. Heikki finally gets some grip and does not seem too willing to give his position to Lewis without a fight. A fight that almost ends up in tragedy for Macca when hi starts to weave frantically his car in front of the much smoother Lewis.
Webber spins and he slowly start to work his way down to the usual positions for him. It's last place for him...until Massa has his first spin, that is. Stay tuned, there's more of those to come!

Coulthard and Vettel practice their choreography skills with a synchronized spin, which is always fun to watch but not too useful to earn any points.

Massa spins again on a straight...

Lewis finally overtakes a fatalist Heikki who assumes he is holding Lewis up. This is a better scheme: Lewis with a free track ahead making a big gap while Heikki contains any other cars (mainly Kimi which was still considered a threat back then...can you believe it?). A scheme that was ruined only moments after when Heikki tries the 360° dance and allows Kimi trhough. Sutil tries some rally racing with his Force India. Bad idea. British authorities, mindful that the Queen might be watching the event, decide not to transmit Sutil's movements when he gets out of the car so as not to offend Her Royal Majesty which such blatant camp movements

Kimi closes the gap on Lewis until they get to the pitlane. Hammy does a flawless stop. So does Kimi except he does not change his tires, thinking that weather will improve. The only other car to try such a surprising strategy is Nando, who was so far doing a good race...
Rain came back...and things started slowly to get ugly. Nando was the first to show that his strategy sucked. Heidfeld making an easy prey of him. Even Piquet overtook a struggling Nando, again...d'oh!

Kimi? He lost 17 seconds to Lewis in just 4 laps thanks to the used tires strategy. Heikki and Nick catched up fast. Heikki overtakes Kimi but don't get too carried away about Kovy's skills. Nick overtake them both in a beautiful manoeuvre and it's second place for him. Rubinho was poised for some points for his team, but problems with the refuelling rig costed him dearly. No luck for poor old Rubinho! But wait...

With a track already saturated, you wouldn't think things could be worse...but it was just the beggining! Race REALLY started to pour down now... and chaos broke lose:

Lewis goes off track for a moment, Piquet slides out of the race, Massa spins, so does Rubens...and Massa again...the drivers cry on their radios "safety car, please! Safety car!" but to no avail. Glock spins, and Heikki, and Kubica, Nakakima crashes against the back of a Toyota, Button goes off track, Webber spins, Jarno spins, been a while since I last typed "Massa spins", right? Well...Massa spins. Heikki spins again...

Alonso was still 4th despite the awful conditions, the awful car and the awful strategy. TV does not show how he managed such a heroic feat. They do show how he ruins it, though. As rain slows down a bit, Kimi easily overtakes Nando which by the time is driving as if he is on some sort of drifting competition with the car sliding all over the track. Heikki also overtakes Nando for 5th, the only thing Kovy did right in the whole afternoon. Naka was eyeing Alonso's position too, but he was saved when Trulli came from behind and made a wonderful pass on Naki.

It's end of the race and the hero of the day was Lewis without a doubt. He ended up a minute ahead of second place Nick and a surprising Rubinho on 3rd place of the podium (this is for you Jenson lovers...)

Everybody else was a lap down...

So...err...yes, it was a wonderful display of driving in the wet for Lewis. It was also proof that if you get early on at the lead on a wet race, then you have a huge advantage over everybody else. I am not trying to diminish Lewis skills here. It was certainly a great drive but...it was no Donnington 1993!!!! It was more like Monza 2008. Except he did it on a Macca and Vettel on a Red Bull. So no legendary points for Lewis on this race, sorry.

Don't worry, good Lewis fans, he will have better races to come, only not as overhyped as this one.

See you next time!]]> Sun, 15 Feb 2009 15:33:00 +0000
Anyways, welcome to the French GP! The most exciting F1 race nowadays...among those being held at France *ahem*!

Do you recall anything about that race? Anything at all? Me neither. It is because it was JUST SO DAMN BORING IT HURTS WATCHING THE 2 MINUTE REVIEW OF THE FRIGGIN' RACE!!!

Sorry, let's get on with it.

Practice: yes.

Qualy: yes. Hamilton 3rd fastest, demoted due to the penalty to 13th. Some people said it was too harsh. Actually, it wouldn't have been so harsh if it weren't that he made fun of his father for crashing his Porsche on friday. Poetic justice. Anyways, that meant that 3 stopper Nando got 3rd place, mwahaha, aren't they machiavelic at Renault? No, they aren't.
Kimi 1st, for a change and Massa 2nd. Trulli 4th, Kubica 5th...awww come on! It's always the same! You should know the starting grid already!

Race: Kimi has a great start, so does Massa...and Trulli...and Kubica...Alonso has a Piquet moment and takes ages to actually start moving forward...there goes the 3 stopper strategy. He can overtake Kubica before the end of first lap, anyways. Not that it is of much help by now.
Then there come 70 laps of...nothing.
Exciting moments:
- Hamilton overtakes Vettel...by cutting the chicane. Drive through for him and lots of whining. Overtaking move of the race: Lewis passes Heikki!
- Webber spins and Alonso overtakes him for who knows which place down the field. Yay!
- Heikki almost crashes against Piquet while entering the pits (a pale imitation of Canada?). Piquet choses to return the favor by going to slow at the pits exit and almost making Heikki crash against him. Piquet loses the place his pit crew made him win...
- This one was actually good: Heikki charges against Trulli, a brief wheel to wheel clash. He pushes to hard and Trulli gets to keep his place.
- Alonso tries to overtake Webber again(due to his 3 stopper strategy, remember?) for 7th, but he ****s up at the hairpin and Piquet overtakes him...oh dear...
- Kimi's exhaust pipe gets loose and he has to slow down...Massa overtakes him in a move as exciting as Lewis vs Heikki or Piquet vs Nando (well...actually that last one wasn't intended to be like that)

It is finally over. Massa first, Kimi 2nd and a Trulli on great form takes 3rd and first podium for Toyota in over 2 years. Piquet finally gets some points for Renault.

Please promise me you will never make me watch that race again!

]]> Tue, 10 Feb 2009 20:00:00 +0000
I looooove this track. This is all Monaco should have been. It has the barriers, it has slow chicanes, it has fast straights, it has the wall of champions, the only gripe was that awful tarmac...leaving it out of F1 calendar is one of the biggest crimes in F1 history.

Practice: many accidents due to track conditions. Biggest ones were those suffered by Vettel and Bourdais.

Qualy: By this time, the track was actually disintegrating minute by minute. Kubica almost secures another pole but Lewis was inspired. Kimi ended up 3rd, Alonso a surprising 4th, and Massa a disappointing 6th. Oh yes, and Heikki 7th...as if anybody cared.

Race: Hammy has a great start and soon is pulling away from Kubica. Alonso has an awful start and ends up being surpassed by Nico and manages to only just stay in front of Massa after a scary wheel to wheel battle. A few laps later Sutil's car gives up. Sutil leaves the car and shows that he can not only race like a man like he did at Monaco, he can also run on foot like a little girl. So, it's SC time. When the SC finally leaves the track, everybody rushes to the pits. There go Hammy, Kimi, Kubi, Alonso and Nico. It's a frantic pit race to get P1...bah...we all saw what happened, why bother saying it again? I thought that watching it again maybe would change my mind on the crash but nope...it still looks like one of the biggest blunders I've ever saw a top driver make. At least Schumi's parking or Alonso blocking the pit were intentional...Anyways, Lewis failed to see the red light, the red car...and Kimi ended up seeing red. I know I am biased but this is my blog so I can be as biased as I want to and I tell you this: watching Lewis saying it was no big deal with that broad stupid false smile of his made me wanna club him to death with one of Montoya's baguette sandwiches.

Anyways, Kubica and Alonso made it through. Heidfeld was on the lead on a one stopper strategy. Coulthard was, amazingly, climbing up the field with no touches so far. So disappointing! He was warned that unless he crashed soon he was risking ending up in the points or even a podium finish but he stubbornly refused to crash even then. Nakajima got too feisty and broke his front wing which he carried under the nose cone up until the pits entry when it suddenly decided to move even further back and making him crash right there. Ouch. Piquet crashed somewhere during the race. Film at 11.

Kubica got P1 after the pitstop round and quickly pulled away from his teammate and Alonso. Nando was looking good for P3 or even P2, but he lost the car and spun off. Idiot. Man of the day? Massa. Yup, you read it right. Watching the replay I was amazed to see how many cars he overtook with elegance. I didn't remember that except for that overtaking move at the hairpin. Maybe he deserves more credit that I am willing to give him?...nah...he still is no Lewis.

In the end it's a wonderful win for Kubica, the underdog. He deserved so much more this season, such a shame. Heidfeld second, in his usual, hard working way. DC was third and happy for the first time in years. Rumours said he asked "Hey! Let's go and crash a party to celebrate!" HAHAHAH geddit? I know...I kill myself...]]> Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:48:00 +0000
Practice: The Maccas seem to finally be coming to terms and getting a package comparable to that of the Ferraris. Nico looks inspired for once. Luckily for him, he only has to shine once every blue moon to be considered a promising driver. And that he does!

Qualy: DC decides to rush things a little bit and just crash during Qualy, so hopefully he would have that off his chest and won't need to crash during the race. No such luck.

Despite their promising pace during practice, the Maccas end up playing second fiddle to the Ferraris. Massa is, once again, in fron of Kimi in which starts to look like a worrying indicator of an overall mediocracy of the season. Massa first, Kimi second, Lewis third, Heikki fourth, Kubica fifth,...Alonso seventh...do you see a pattern here? (Heikki would have to start from the pits at the race because his engine stalled during the parade lap...he started to look like Barrichello at Ferrari...and people still wonder why neither Lewis nor Alonso wanted to be number two at Macca?)

Race: it rains! Rain+Monaco=sorting the big boys from the little ones, right? Wrong. Nobody qualified as a big boy (Sutil could have, if he didn't start weeping like a baby when he DNF).
The only commendable way to watch this race is with Benny Hill's soundtrack in the background. Green lights, Massa has a good start. Kimi does not. Lewis waves goodbye to him as he breezes past the "Flying Finn" *stiffles a laugh*. Amazingly, there is not a single touch at the first corner, despite the rain and no TC. Maybe the guys are not so bad after all! Of course, it wouldn't be Monaco unless some car at least needs to pitstop for a new wing at the end of Lap 1. Luckily, Button was there to keep the tradition. He tried to overtake Heidfeld, or maybe he was just being dumb. In any case, he is finally last and out of the way.

Sutil slowly climbs up the field in the midst of a pouring rain. Watching this again makes me feel more respect for the skills he showed here than those of Vettel's at Monza and maybe as much as Vettel at Interlagos. Not too shabby.

First stupid mistake from one of the front guys. Hamilton bumps against the walls and ends up with a punctured rear tire. They didn't know by then, but it would be the mistake that would allow him to win here.

Fun moment#1: as the pitwall tells Nando that he is currently the fastest driver on the track he aquaplanned and hit the barriers. Yet another punctured rear tire.
Fun moment#2: at the exact same spot Nando hit the barriers, Coulthard decides that he just loves to crash during race so he also aquaplanned and crash, but unlike Lewis or Nando, his car was destroyed. It didn't help that Bourdais decided that aquaplanning seemed something he wanted to try, too and crashed against DC's back. It's SC time.

Meanwhile, Lewis benefited from Alonso's crash and Kimi's drive through (for not having his tires fully fitted 3 minutes before the race). Nando was back with a vengeance and made the stupidest mistake in a race full of them: he tried to muscle past Heidfeld at the hairpin. You could call it an optimistic move. I call it being a dumbass. So long any hopes of scoring points for Nando.

Massa, which we were all expecting to fail spectacularly, only gifted us with a missed braking point at St.Devote of which he recovered rather elegantly. Kubica, meanwhile, took P1, being the the only of the top drivers which seemed to be up to Monaco's challenge. Ultimately, his strategy was not that good. Kimi tries to emulate Massa at St.Devote...and breaks his wing. D'oh! Glock spins. Piquet crashes at St.Devote. Bad tire strategy compromises Massa's race. Nico is in charge of the scheduled "spectacular crash at Monaco" and smashes his car near the swimming pool area.

Thanks to the crashes, mistakes and a good control of his awful car, Sutil quietly made up to P4 (from P18!). Radio says: "Your next challenge behind you is actually Raikkonen". Truer words were never spoken before...at the exit of the tunnel, Kimi losses his car. You can see him desperately moving the wheel right and left while the car continues in a straight line, unfazed, towards Sutil's car. It was a split second mistake (like Hammy's or Nando's crash against the barriers) but with more notorious consequences. Personally, I think it was a worse mistake from his part when he was out at st.Devote. He didn't seem to have much to do in this crash against Sutil, but it surely looked stupid. Still, despite my own bias, Alonso was the amateur champion of the day for his move on Heidfeld.

In the end, it was all for Hamilton and his lucky crash. Kubica with a very impressive second (the only one that finished with any notable mistakes). Massa had to settle for 3rd.

We have reached the first third of the season. So far, nobody looked like a "different" driver. Massa was the best of the Ferrari vs Macca war. And he looked like anything but a competent top driver. Hamilton kept looking like a mix between Ayrton Senna and Yuji Ide (the end of season will show just how evenly matched those two sides of his personality were). Kimi looked like...crap. Heikki was nothing you would even look at. Kubica is my guy so far, but he never seems to have a strategy to profit from his remarkable performance. Alonso? He was remarkably unremarkable so far.

Ok, see you guys at Montreal (woohoo! My fave track!!!)]]> Sun, 01 Feb 2009 16:20:00 +0000
Off the track: Kovalainen was back as if nothing had happened. Nothing will ever happen with him, anyways for the rest of the season. Barrichello broke Patrese's record of GP starts making him the most experienced driver in F1 history and the 7th highest scorer of them all. Not too shabby for a hard working but not blindingly fast driver. He is not as bad as the Honda's made him look like. Few people recall him climbing from 12th to 4th on the first lap IN A JORDAN! Not many people recall that because there was another guy with an exceptional performance: Ayrton Senna. Anyways, kudos for Rubinho!

Practice: yeah, there was some.

Qualy: Massa, Kovalainen, Hamilton, Raikkonen...Kubica 5th, Alonso, 7th...*yawn*

Race: And it's go! Go! Go! Go! Go...oh, crap! Nothing happens except Fisichella giving a message to RBR: "Force Indias also give you wings" which he demonstrated by launching himself off in the air with a little help of his (unwilling) friend Nakajima. Both cars out. Kimi touches Kovy's and damages his wing. Hamilton and Massa seem to be engaged in a furious battle until we all realised that they were running on different strategies. Massa didn't even defend his position when Lewis overtook him. And...s##t...I need something to fill in some space. Errrm...it was a...nice...day...and...I ate pizza that night and...geez...it's impossible.

Oh, well...Massa wins, Hamilton second and blah blah blah. Vettel finishes a race for the first time. Ouch.]]> Thu, 29 Jan 2009 19:50:00 +0000