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The Tf1 Race Report 2012 Thread

Started by Quiet One , Feb 25 2012 01:44 AM

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#1 Quiet One

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:44 AM

It's that time of the year when we can apply for our millenia old tradition of having one member per race write a full report of the race.

This year we have an innovation just like F1: we have fewer active members than races.

Well, for the old ones, it's a good opportunity to write at least once in a while. For the newbies, this is your chance to dazzle us with your undiscovered talent.

Go ahead, pick your track!

And may George have mercy on us all....
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the Universe, and it has a longer shelf life" - Frank Zappa

"Great drivers are the ones who win the races they're not supposed to" - K.Chandhok

"On the rare occasions that I play a racing game I often think ‘you know what this needs? A boss battle or two.’ A Formula One game in which, suddenly, everybody else has a monster truck and their sole desire is to squash you. A street racing game with a tank or two blowing the roads and buildings to bits. A Nascar game with a track that occasionally bends to the right" (Adam Smith - RPS)

#2 Massa

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 03:30 AM

Jump back, what's that sound?
Here she comes, full blast and top down
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
Model citizen, zero discipline

Don't you know she's coming home with me
You'll lose her in that turn
I'll get her

CANADA
CANADA
CANADA
CANADA

Please let me have Canada please please please oh my gosh I am so excited let me do it please.
Eric

#3 Piotr

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 12:34 PM

I volunteer for the first one after Robert comes back. I will even do it in English...:naughty:
" The game over, man! The game over!" Bill Paxton, "Aliens"

#4 Piotr

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 12:34 PM

View PostMassa, on 25 February 2012 - 03:30 AM, said:

Jump back, what's that sound?
Here she comes, full blast and top down
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
Model citizen, zero discipline

Don't you know she's coming home with me
You'll lose her in that turn
I'll get her

CANADA
CANADA
CANADA
CANADA

Please let me have Canada please please please oh my gosh I am so excited let me do it please.


only if you can do it in the style of "Canadian Bacon"  :ph34r:
" The game over, man! The game over!" Bill Paxton, "Aliens"

#5 JHS18

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 12:35 PM

I'd love to, but eh. You guessed it. Sky.

Can't really do a report on a race I'm only going to see highlights of.

Plus, seeing as the BBC's only showing the sh*t races like Valencia and Korea *yawn*...yeah, I won't bother. :P

Edited by JHS18, 25 February 2012 - 12:35 PM.

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#6 Piotr

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 12:38 PM

View PostJHS18, on 25 February 2012 - 12:35 PM, said:

I'd love to, but eh. You guessed it. Sky.

Can't really do a report on a race I'm only going to see highlights of.

Plus, seeing as the BBC's only showing the sh*t races like Valencia and Korea *yawn*...yeah, I won't bother. :P


Sure you can - just fill in the gaps with your imagination (or hallucinations, as case may be).
" The game over, man! The game over!" Bill Paxton, "Aliens"

#7 HandyNZL

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:22 PM

View PostJHS18, on 25 February 2012 - 12:35 PM, said:

I'd love to, but eh. You guessed it. Sky.

Can't really do a report on a race I'm only going to see highlights of.

Plus, seeing as the BBC's only showing the sh*t races like Valencia and Korea *yawn*...yeah, I won't bother. :P

Dude! You'll never make it with the big boys...jump on a plane and go see it live mate....from a TV in a hotel room somewhere near the race :P

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#8 Quiet One

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:49 PM

View PostMassa, on 25 February 2012 - 03:30 AM, said:

Jump back, what's that sound?
Here she comes, full blast and top down
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
Model citizen, zero discipline

Don't you know she's coming home with me
You'll lose her in that turn
I'll get her

CANADA
CANADA
CANADA
CANADA

Please let me have Canada please please please oh my gosh I am so excited let me do it please.
Ok, we are now opening a vacant for Montreal! So, who wants it? Here...there...nobody? Come on! It's Canada! Somebody????
There! Canada's chronicle awarded to....

TF1BATRACER_AND_COLON_CLEANSING_21445587!!!!


Q: Congratulations TF1 Batracer! I think you will be great. So, TF1 Batracer, are you glad we chose you for the Canada race?

A: Most people believe that a satellite falls in love with a loyal tape recorder, but they need to remember how ostensibly a load bearing burglar wakes up.Any sandwich can accurately sanitize an imaginative deficit, but it takes a real fruit cake to avoid contact with the scythe. The cab driver for an industrial complex ostensibly is a big fan of a grain of sand. A hockey player seeks a steam engine. Now and then, an asteroid near a paper napkin pees on the boiled warranty.
The scooby snack teaches the tornado. Any lover can share a shower with the cloud formation inside the tomato, but it takes a real recliner to bury the moldy globule. A tape recorder seeks a sandwich. When you see the ski lodge, it means that the tattered customer goes to sleep. The underhandedly fractured mortician secretly plans an escape from a nearest industrial complex a fire hydrant, and the plaintiff from the cashier makes love to a carelessly nuclear tape recorder.

Q: Well said! Looking forward for more of your enlightened comments!
"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the Universe, and it has a longer shelf life" - Frank Zappa

"Great drivers are the ones who win the races they're not supposed to" - K.Chandhok

"On the rare occasions that I play a racing game I often think ‘you know what this needs? A boss battle or two.’ A Formula One game in which, suddenly, everybody else has a monster truck and their sole desire is to squash you. A street racing game with a tank or two blowing the roads and buildings to bits. A Nascar game with a track that occasionally bends to the right" (Adam Smith - RPS)

#9 Caesar

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 01:57 PM

Jump back, what's that sound?
Here she comes, full blast and top down
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
Model citizen, zero discipline

Don't you know she's coming home with me
You'll lose her in that turn
I'll get her

CANADA
CANADA
CANADA
CANADA

Please let me have Canada please please please oh my gosh I am so excited let me do it please panama was actually a striptease dancer

Edited by Caesar, 25 February 2012 - 02:01 PM.

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#10 yurp

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 03:19 PM

View PostJHS18, on 25 February 2012 - 12:35 PM, said:

I'd love to, but eh. You guessed it. Sky.

Can't really do a report on a race I'm only going to see highlights of.

Plus, seeing as the BBC's only showing the sh*t races like Valencia and Korea *yawn*...yeah, I won't bother. :P
We actually have to watch the races to do a race report?

Seriously?


From memory, I'm pretty sure Andres had all his reports written and in the can before the lights went out at Melbourne last year.

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#11 yurp

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 03:19 PM

View PostJHS18, on 25 February 2012 - 12:35 PM, said:

I'd love to, but eh. You guessed it. Sky.

Can't really do a report on a race I'm only going to see highlights of.

Plus, seeing as the BBC's only showing the sh*t races like Valencia and Korea *yawn*...yeah, I won't bother. :P
We actually have to watch the races to do a race report?

Seriously?


From memory, I'm pretty sure Andres had all his reports written and in the can before the lights went out at Melbourne last year.

What was that tree in the desert bollocks again QO? Posted Image
Back.

#12 Rainmaster

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 03:51 PM

Well, I am going to the Monaco Grand Prix this year, so I'd be happy to take that one I suppose!
Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

#13 JHS18

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:06 PM

View Postyurp, on 25 February 2012 - 03:19 PM, said:

We actually have to watch the races to do a race report?

Seriously?


From memory, I'm pretty sure Andres had all his reports written and in the can before the lights went out at Melbourne last year.

What was that tree in the desert bollocks again QO? Posted Image

Haha, well I could just make it up and say Vettel won which is probably what'll happen anyway.

Let's face it, all you really want to know from a report is who won. :P j/k
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#14 freaky2

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:22 PM

View Post#46, on 25 February 2012 - 03:51 PM, said:

Well, I am going to the Monaco Grand Prix this year, so I'd be happy to take that one I suppose!

You what?? I'm green with envy, and that's coming from someone who didn't watch half the races last year XDD


By the way, I would like to do a report if it won't bore you guys to hell. I will even watch the race before I write XD
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#15 Piotr

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 04:38 PM

View Postfreaky2, on 25 February 2012 - 04:22 PM, said:

You what?? I'm green with envy, and that's coming from someone who didn't watch half the races last year XDD


By the way, I would like to do a report if it won't bore you guys to hell. I will even watch the race before I write XD


That may actually disqualify you from being a race reporter...
" The game over, man! The game over!" Bill Paxton, "Aliens"

#16 dribbler

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 07:40 PM

I'll do Monza. I have just looked into the future and seen that Michael wins there.
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#17 Autumnpuma

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 08:16 PM

I'll do whatever's left over. (Sounds like my early twenties....)
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That's all I'll ever need.
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#18 HandyNZL

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 08:58 PM

View PostAutumnpuma, on 25 February 2012 - 08:16 PM, said:

I'll do whatever's left over. (Sounds like my early twenties....)

So it's sloppy seconds for Mike.....

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#19 Massa

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 09:18 PM

View Post#46, on 25 February 2012 - 03:51 PM, said:

Well, I am going to the Monaco Grand Prix this year, so I'd be happy to take that one I suppose!

Point A is Monte Carlo, Point B is the nearest KFC restaurant.

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#20 freaky2

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 09:24 PM

Well, I guess the Monaco race is worth a couple of days of going hungry :P Or maybe he can pay the price of going to Nice twice a day :D
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#21 Rainmaster

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 12:43 AM

View PostMassa, on 25 February 2012 - 09:18 PM, said:

Point A is Monte Carlo, Point B is the nearest KFC restaurant.



Ah, but I'll be staying very close to Nice and travelling to the Grand Prix (for this very reason of course :lol:)!

View Postfreaky2, on 25 February 2012 - 09:24 PM, said:

Well, I guess the Monaco race is worth a couple of days of going hungry :P Or maybe he can pay the price of going to Nice twice a day :D

Are you crazy? Twice a day? I need at least 3 of KFC's finest every day Tanita!
Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein

#22 AleHop

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 05:29 PM

Good idea but you should do a couple of races one good like Canada, Monza, Spa, etc. and one not as good like Valencia, Hungaroring, etc. :D  



Fray Luis de León said:

As we were saying yesterday...
Fray Luis de León wrote mystical poems which prompted Cervantes to proclaim León "a genius who astounds the world and who, in ecstasy, might rob us of our senses." León was also an active man who taught at the University of Salamanca, translated classical and biblical literature, and wrote on religious themes. Twice denounced before the Inquisition, he was imprisoned for "heresy," though he returned to the University to later hold the chairs of Moral Philosophy and Biblical Studies.

Tradition has it that he began his lecture the first day after returning from four years' imprisonment with the words "as we were saying yesterday..."

#23 dribbler

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 08:18 PM

View PostAutumnpuma, on 25 February 2012 - 08:16 PM, said:

I'll do whatever's left over. (Sounds like my early twenties....)

:lol:
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#24 Quiet One

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 08:20 PM

Ok, so far we have:

1) Canada by Master Batracer or Eric, whichever sells me viagra online first.
2) Monaco will be reported from a KFC by George
3) Steve gets Monza, will get drunk in the middle and fall asleep before end of the race.
4) Tanita will write a report for food. She gets to do Melbourne unless Nathan steps up in whic case Tanita gets to Report the 2012 Donkey Rally Cup in Cordoba, Argentina.
5) Mike will do any race Lewis manages to finish. That shortens the list quite a bit but he still gets the Austin report, because, you know, he is all American and stuff and likes Tex Mex food.
6) Piotr will await for Kubica to be fit again, which is a convoluted way of saying "never"

Anybody else? Come on!

Edited by Quiet One, 26 February 2012 - 08:21 PM.

"There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the Universe, and it has a longer shelf life" - Frank Zappa

"Great drivers are the ones who win the races they're not supposed to" - K.Chandhok

"On the rare occasions that I play a racing game I often think ‘you know what this needs? A boss battle or two.’ A Formula One game in which, suddenly, everybody else has a monster truck and their sole desire is to squash you. A street racing game with a tank or two blowing the roads and buildings to bits. A Nascar game with a track that occasionally bends to the right" (Adam Smith - RPS)

#25 Caesar

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 09:02 PM

i will do one, which one still don't know, i 'll tell you next week
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#26 Piotr

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Posted 26 February 2012 - 11:09 PM

View PostQuiet One, on 26 February 2012 - 08:20 PM, said:

Ok, so far we have:

1) Canada by Master Batracer or Eric, whichever sells me viagra online first.
2) Monaco will be reported from a KFC by George
3) Steve gets Monza, will get drunk in the middle and fall asleep before end of the race.
4) Tanita will write a report for food. She gets to do Melbourne unless Nathan steps up in whic case Tanita gets to Report the 2012 Donkey Rally Cup in Cordoba, Argentina.
5) Mike will do any race Lewis manages to finish. That shortens the list quite a bit but he still gets the Austin report, because, you know, he is all American and stuff and likes Tex Mex food.
6) Piotr will await for Kubica to be fit again, which is a convoluted way of saying "never"

Anybody else? Come on!


I find your lack of faith disturbing (>:cue in heavy breathing:<).
I'll tell you what- if Kubi actually has a practice with Ferrari in June, I'll report on that as a bonus.
" The game over, man! The game over!" Bill Paxton, "Aliens"

#27 Kopite Girl

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 05:04 AM

Seeing as my last name is Clark, I'd like to take Hockenheim. Got a few ideas about how I could play this one.

I thought we'd be nominating after we'd completed our race report?
In the sweetest child, there's a vicious streak.
In the strongest man, there's a child so weak.
In the whole wide world, there's no magic place.
So you might as well rise, put on your bravest face.

Though we might have precious little...
It's still precious.

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#28 dribbler

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 08:35 AM

View PostQuiet One, on 26 February 2012 - 08:20 PM, said:

3) Steve gets Monza, will get drunk in the middle and fall asleep before end of the race.

Sounds like me in my late thirties.....
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Music connects people through the unspoken appreciation of something that sounds right. Something that taps into the deepest corners of your soul, making you feel alive. When someone else gets it too and you know they do, it feels beautiful.

"To be brutal and honest I don't have a thin skin and others who whine over every little thing will not curry favour. I'm just going to try to keep this place fun, as it has been for all of these years." Pumpdoc, 8th Decemeber 2010.

#29 BradSpeedMan

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 01:00 PM

View Post#46, on 25 February 2012 - 03:51 PM, said:

Well, I am going to the Monaco Grand Prix this year, so I'd be happy to take that one I suppose!
Come on George, tell me you have extra tickets lying around...
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“We keep on working, we do our thing,” Vettel shouts over the team radio, “We are who we are!”

"Vettel is a champion. That’s not referring to his achievements, but rather to his approach to everything he does. He wins. All the time. His preparation is meticulous, his attention to detail reminiscent of Michael Schumacher at his peak, and his performance on the track is almost always flawless. Vettel is capable only of domination. He knows no other way... Vettel is not in Formula One to be liked. He is there to win. And in the words of Ayrton Senna, perhaps the greatest of all Formula One drivers, “Nice men don’t win.”"
Chris Cameron-Dow

#30 Rainmaster

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Posted 27 February 2012 - 05:06 PM

View PostBradSpeedMan, on 27 February 2012 - 01:00 PM, said:

Come on George, tell me you have extra tickets lying around...


If I did, you'd be first on the list Brad man! I cannot wait to see Kimi, Alonso, Vettel, Button, Hulk, Perez, JEV, Ham and all the rest's technique through the barriers (although of course if Ham happens to be near Massa I'll make sure to stand back).
Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness ~ Ludwig Wittgenstein
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