HandyNZL

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Everything posted by HandyNZL

  1. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Marussia poses nicely...
  2. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    I was slower than a Sauber and a Toro Rosso....but what the hey...sunny days!
  3. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Live test thread: "We've just seen a Force India mechanic take a fall in the pit lane, but thankfully he's back up and unharmed" Wah-hey!!!!! Lol lol lol
  4. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    The breakages are one thing, but Hamilton said the W04 also needs more pace, ”I need more aero for sure. Coming from a McLaren that had incredible downforce, you definitely notice the difference.” Translated.... I is phucked...is it coz I is black?
  5. And they say Formula 1 is hard to understand.... Are you sure they all drive in the same direction?
  6. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Let me put that through the translator machiney muh-bob: I've been out on the track watching the cars and the Lotus continues to look very impressive. I've been lounging around the track occassionaly looking to see where all the noise is coming from, and every now and then this black and gold car comes by, and I get all misty eyed thinking of the Lotus 72.... The front end is always there, the traction is good and Romain Grosjean is able to be committed on the throttle It drives in the same direction, always. The tyres touch the ground, they go around, and the car moves. Romain Grosjean needs to be committed, otherwise someone will throttle him this year...maybe Sutil if he gets the Force India drive...he has a record for that sort of thing. Sergio Perez was on a long run in the McLaren and he was very consistent. Sergio Perez kept going around in circles, and with some consistency, every time I went to chat up this blonde bird, he would blast by and then my pick up lines could not be heard by her. So I would say what I wanted to her, but of course she couldn't hear a word of it, and so I am left with this cheesey grin at the end of my pick up line, just looking at her like some weirdo clown / stalker / pervert awaitng her reply...which of course never came. It also looks pretty good The blonde looked exceptional. Sell your grandmother, exceptional. Sorry, I need to sit down...feeling faint.... The Toro Rosso has lost its edge from yesterday - now the rear is moving too much, which was always their problem last year. The red head bird that was around yesterday is wiggling her backside too much...a little is OK, but it reaches a certain point and it goes from nice to stripper slutty. I hear from my mate that she was like that last year too. Maybe I should get her number..... Red Bull I believe are concentrating on reliability before some upgrades but at the moment it looks like a one-line car The purple bovine are slow and they know it...already they have some upgrades awaiting them, being a turbo (a year early I might add), a NOS installation, and a pair of fluffy dice to hang on the mirror. It only knows one pick up line...something about hoping the fall didn't hurt you and falling from the sky or something...either way...totally doesn't work... - if the driver misses the turn-in, it's hard to get the nose back on line. When sniffing coke lines in the back seat of a limo, and the driver turns quickly, your nose runs off line.... The Ferrari looks OK, The Ferrari looks OK.....now, please post my cheque to..... but its tyres are going off more quickly than some others - The Ferrari mechanics are trialling no-nut wheel fixtures...doesn't seem to be working to well though.... and it's not always riding the bumps as well as the best Sometimes you get one and she lies there like a starfish....
  7. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    But Prost isn't dead... ...you need to reincarnate another driver instead...did you not read your Cult Voodoo Devil Reincarnation 101 Manual (or how to draw really accurate pentagons)?
  8. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Hamilton has whacked her good and proper into the barriers...scratch one Mercedes chassis. And that, they say, is how you win friends and influence people
  9. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    But I've already placed my mealion dollar bet....
  10. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    What is there to learn about pull rod suspension? Basically it is just an upside down version of a push-rod suspension...it's as basic as butter on toast. They (the teams) only ever went away from pull rod when the noses got high and skinny...it's not some black magic mumbo jumbo that they have to work out...they just go look at an old car, and if I do recall correctly, some of those old cars of the past 30-years of McLaren tended to stick like snot on a rag to the race track. What we have now with pull rod suspension is a bunch of ingrate journalists that have no technical, nor historical nous, reporting on Formula One in sound-byte staccato. And then the masses lap it up because their attention span is 140-characters (which means you stopped reading this about the ")" after "teams"). Because a journalist doesn't understand it, doesn't mean the teams don't. The suspension type had nothing to do with Ferrari's, really Massa's, woes last year, but since someone reported it as such, they ran with it, and thus could concentrate on the real reason that the car had no one lap pace (which is all that it ever really had wrong with it last year (if you discount aesthetics and a Brazilian driver)). The fuel pump is a basic piston...get manufacturing tolerances wrong, or the seal is a bit naff, and you get a problem as there will not be enough (or even too much) fuel delivered to the engine. It's certainly no the end of the world, and in no way means McLaren are stuffing up beyond all belief....so what are these massive issues to sort?????
  11. Please explain.....we have just over a months worth of time to fill....
  12. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Where the plop do you get McLaren = fragile? The fuel pump had a fault...it wasn't the chassis breaking in two. Fuel pumps fail, no big deal. The only thing that can conclusively be drawn from the first day of testing is that Button will be WDChampion......the rest is just mere details....
  13. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Having now seen all the times for the first days running, I feel it only responsible of all teams bar McLaren to duly give up on thinking that they will get anywhere near winning the WCChampionship and the WDChampionship. Nearly a second a lap faster...ha! Eat McLaren rubber, you fools!!! (Oh OK..Pirelli rubber) Off to place my one meallion dollar bet....
  14. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    I don't know what's more worrying....you saying I'm correct, or the fact that obviously you have a photograph of Andre in a frame, pride of place, on your desk
  15. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Vettel to name his Bumpy Bertha perhaps?
  16. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    What do you mean "went"? Were they not already?
  17. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Nah...he won't make it past the first corner, laddie....
  18. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    All this needs is a bugler playing the last post...
  19. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Button: God damn it....why do I have to get the ugly one?
  20. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Ferrari's rendition of Williams Walrus nose. Williams were just ahead of the times...
  21. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Interesting little wings next to the mirror. A little design detail to oogle as it were....
  22. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No... It's a platypus with wings..... I am going to have to retract my earlier comment comparing the RBR nose with Alain Prost's nose. Clearly I was wrong. Prost's nose is considerably more beautiful.
  23. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    OK...so RBR just went from looking nice to looking like it hit every branch falling down the ugly tree...that....nose...ugh... U G L Y you ain't got no alibi...
  24. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Same corner, cars almost the same spot....Sauber-pods look very narrow compared with the Marussia Sauber-pods clearly inside the wheels...reminiscent of Formula Ford....maybe someone from Swift is working for them?
  25. 2013 First Test (No, Not Cricket...)

    Last years car, this years nose...guess Williams has ditched the step nose too