pumpdoc

Don't You Just Hate.....................

59 posts in this topic

You didn't find the poo in your wellies then? :D

and besides I know how poor you are in your part of the world, but really, snot is not a substitute for hairspray, you must tell her this :)

It works fine, it's just the colour that's the problem :lol:

You had better tell all the local Scouse kids too who are holding their premier of 'Snot - The Musical'.

:lol:

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:lol:

When I see this thread on the main page it reads:

Don't you just hate................

*Forum member*

Ouch!Now everybody hates me!

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:lol:

When I see this thread on the main page it reads:

Don't you just hate................

*Forum member*

Ouch!Now everybody hates me!

"Now"?

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:lol: Good point!

Btw I was reading your blog the other day.

First I admit that I'm spying you and then I forget it for half a year :lol:

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Not touching that one,

Here's one for us old stoners......................

Drinking the bong water. :lol:

:roll::roll:

Try putting the water in with some Jim Beam. ****ing rank, but lethal!! :lol::lol:

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Sounds like a waste of perfectly good water.

Really do need a raised eyebrow emoticon.

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I always found touching hot tongs or finding a pube stuck to the glue of your king size rizzla quite a chore. That and so called mates swapping your resin for oxo.

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Ahh, smokin and drinkin to great tunes whilst talkin few words but gettin universal understandin. Mixin all of that with magnificent company and a stoned shag. He he, f*ckin yeah.

Sorry.

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I always found touching hot tongs or finding a pube stuck to the glue of your king size rizzla quite a chore. That and so called mates swapping your resin for oxo.

You stick Rizlas on your pubes?

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You stick Rizlas on your pubes?

No, girls used to sit on my skinning up table. Ha!

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No, girls used to sit on my skinning up table. Ha!

You have a specific table where you go to put your condoms on :eusa_think:

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You have a specific table where you go to put your condoms on :eusa_think:

:lol:

Pubes, kitchen table? Reminds me of something I heard on t'Internet.... A link to this will be posted when I can find the soundtrack, it's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. In the meantime, here's the transcript..............

On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL they play a game for prizes, usually vacations and such, called "Mate Match." The DJs ring someone at work and ask if they are married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked 3 very personal questions that vary from couple to couple and is asked for their significant other's name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners. This particular day, Dec. 9, 1998, it got very interesting. Enjoy!

DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know "Mate Match"?

Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.

DJ: What is your name? First only please.

Contestant: Brian

DJ: Are you married or what Brian?

Brian: Yes.

DJ: Yes? Does this mean your are married or what? Brian?

Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes, I am married.

DJ: Thank you Brian. OK, now, what is your wife's name? First only please Brian.

Brian: Sara.

DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?

Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.

DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here, man.

Brian: About 8 o'clock this morning.

DJ: Atta boy.

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well.

DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?

Brian: About 10 minutes.

DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that

if it there wasn't a trip at stake.

Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.

DJ: OK. Final question: Where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm...

DJ: This sounds good. Brian where was it?

Brian: Not that it was all that great...just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.

DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!

Brian: On the kitchen table.

DJ: Not that great? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times

I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this.

(Advertisements)

DJ: (to audience) Let's call Sara shall we? (touch tones...ringing)

Clerk: Kinko's.

DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?

Clerk: This is she.

DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now.

Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?

DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose. Soooooooo! do you know the rules of "Mate Match"?

Sara: No.

DJ: Good.

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?

Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, OK?

Sara: Oh, Brian.

DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you 3 questions and if you can answer the same way Brian has, then the 2 of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World, Sea World and tickets to see the Orlando Magic play. Get it Sara?

SARA! GET IT Orlando Magic, they are on strike. Sara, helloooooo, anyone home?!?!

Sara: (laughing hard) YES, yes.

Brian: (laughing)

DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?

Sara: Oh God, Brian. This morning before Brian went to work.

DJ: What time?

Sara: About 8 I think. (sound effect - DING DING DING)

DJ: Very good. Next question: How long did it last?

Sara: 12,15 minutes maybe.

DJ: hmmmmm...

Background voice in studio: That's close enough. I am sure she is trying not to harm his manhood.

DJ: Well, we will give you that one. Last question: Where did you do it?

Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!

Brian: Just tell him honey.

DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?

Sara: Well, It's just that my mom is vacationing with us and...

DJ: SHE SAW?!?!

Sara: BRIAN?!?!

Brian: NO, no I didn't...

DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin' with your head. Your answer?

Sara: Dear Lord,..I cannot believe you told them this.

Brian: Come on honey it's for a trip to Florida.

DJ: Let's go Sara we ain't got all day. Where did you do it?

Sara: In the a##. (long pause)

DJ: We will be right back.

(advertisements)

DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. Anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida.

:D

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:lol: Have you posted that before? Seems familiar. Classic.

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:lol: Yeah it's hilarious. I've never heard that one before but this one has a similar kind of theme. If you felt sorry for that woman, this one deserves it. And this one is my favourite.

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:lol: Have you posted that before? Seems familiar. Classic.

No Steve, but it's fairly easy find on the net. The actual recording is priceless.

There;s another I've been looking for for ages, it's about two gays and a hamster, a tube, where the hamster goes, using a lit match to find the hamster, and a third degree burnt arse... brings a 'hole' new meaning to 'rectum'. :lol: Gotta find it.............

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:lol: Yeah it's hilarious. I've never heard that one before but this one has a similar kind of theme. If you felt sorry for that woman, this one deserves it. And this one is my favourite.

:roll: Jaysus, I'm sat in an office in fcuking tears, Graham, they are gold! The first one sounds extremely horny, and the last one - I'm going to do that to the next person that cold calls me :lol:

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:lol: Yeah it's hilarious. I've never heard that one before but this one has a similar kind of theme. If you felt sorry for that woman, this one deserves it. And this one is my favourite.

Absolutely priceless. That second one was hilarious! What an utter bitch, well she got served! :lol::lol:

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The third one is utterly brilliant. I will be using that one tomorrow.

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:lol: Yeah it's hilarious. I've never heard that one before but this one has a similar kind of theme. If you felt sorry for that woman, this one deserves it. And this one is my favourite.

That last one is excellent. I love the envelope bit :lol:

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:lol: Yeah, he must have had a lot of practice with those lines. Plus the guy just has the perfect voice for it too. It's how I imagine Bruce sounds.

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:lol: Yeah, he must have had a lot of practice with those lines. Plus the guy just has the perfect voice for it too. It's how I imagine Bruce sounds.

Really? I had him down as a Barry White.

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:lol:

Come on Bruce, record a message for us about Mexican midgets so we can settle this once and for all.

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:lol:

Come on Bruce, record a message for us about Mexican midgets so we can settle this once and for all.

:lol:

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