Autumnpuma

Five Years On

77 posts in this topic

Until last year I was a polymath extraordinaire. I taught and inspired a generation, my students would come back 50 years later to lick my boots and offer me all their wealth and their virginity (50 years too late unfortunately). I drew a penis on Hamilton's back when he wasn't looking. I wrote hundreds of papers in all possible subjects, received several Nobel prizes and profoundly altered our view of the world. I also published several books which are now in the hands of millions of people and will influence future generations and shape the world. It is difficult to mention numbers as some of my research projects would last several lifetimes for ordinary people, though they generally take me a few months. I wrote Alonso a long letter offering sexual favours which he will soon reply to.

I travelled to all of the countries of the world. Which of course included the UK where I took a dump on the graves of Hamilton's ancestors. I then visited all those countries again for good measure, chairing some conferences along the way that have brought about world peace. I met millions of colleagues of inferior intelligence, in my field and other fields which I already knew more about than those 'experts' One of them happened to mention he was a Hamilton fan so I murdered his family and drew a wee wee on his face when he was sleeping.

However last year everything changed. I was diagnosed with thirteen different malignant cancers and found to have a congenital condition called nanoanimushumanus loosely translated as being born without a heart therefore being a complete sociopath. I survived and recovered from these life threatening conditions just in time for the earthquake and tsunami to strike. I single handedly rescued hundreds of drowning women and children despite having just left hospital. I blocked a tsunami with my bare hands and saved three nuclear reactors (yes it could have been much worse). I went to the Japanese grandprix to kill Hamilton but they wouldn't let me in so I went back later and peed on a spot he had stood. I am no longer allowed to do research so that there are things left for other people to discover. I was offered the post of honorary emperor but when they refused to carry out my wish (of kidnapping hamilton and letting me smack his bottom) I resigned. I liked bullying people in the guise of teaching but hated the idea of giving away part of my intelligence to inferior creatures. So I chose to retire.

I am now a freelance volunteer, offering my services when needed to single handedly rebuild destroyed cities, bring peace to warring nations and stopping climate change which is easy since it doesn't exist. When I have free time I have some fun with my wife's properties (she runs a day care center). I can however no longer use my own assets, except when I slap my Hamilton doll with my pee pee.

In times of furrowed brow and down turned mouth, I shall constantly return to this. Thank you, Uno Hoo.

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Until last year I was a polymath extraordinaire. I taught and inspired a generation, my students would come back 50 years later to lick my boots and offer me all their wealth and their virginity (50 years too late unfortunately). I drew a penis on Hamilton's back when he wasn't looking. I wrote hundreds of papers in all possible subjects, received several Nobel prizes and profoundly altered our view of the world. I also published several books which are now in the hands of millions of people and will influence future generations and shape the world. It is difficult to mention numbers as some of my research projects would last several lifetimes for ordinary people, though they generally take me a few months. I wrote Alonso a long letter offering sexual favours which he will soon reply to.

I travelled to all of the countries of the world. Which of course included the UK where I took a dump on the graves of Hamilton's ancestors. I then visited all those countries again for good measure, chairing some conferences along the way that have brought about world peace. I met millions of colleagues of inferior intelligence, in my field and other fields which I already knew more about than those 'experts' One of them happened to mention he was a Hamilton fan so I murdered his family and drew a wee wee on his face when he was sleeping.

However last year everything changed. I was diagnosed with thirteen different malignant cancers and found to have a congenital condition called nanoanimushumanus loosely translated as being born without a heart therefore being a complete sociopath. I survived and recovered from these life threatening conditions just in time for the earthquake and tsunami to strike. I single handedly rescued hundreds of drowning women and children despite having just left hospital. I blocked a tsunami with my bare hands and saved three nuclear reactors (yes it could have been much worse). I went to the Japanese grandprix to kill Hamilton but they wouldn't let me in so I went back later and peed on a spot he had stood. I am no longer allowed to do research so that there are things left for other people to discover. I was offered the post of honorary emperor but when they refused to carry out my wish (of kidnapping hamilton and letting me smack his bottom) I resigned. I liked bullying people in the guise of teaching but hated the idea of giving away part of my intelligence to inferior creatures. So I chose to retire.

I am now a freelance volunteer, offering my services when needed to single handedly rebuild destroyed cities, bring peace to warring nations and stopping climate change which is easy since it doesn't exist. When I have free time I have some fun with my wife's properties (she runs a day care center). I can however no longer use my own assets, except when I slap my Hamilton doll with my pee pee.

Humourless drivel.

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Humourless drivel.

Ooh, boo hoo. Do you know You Know Who too?

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Yep. He's usually funnier than that, though.

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*sigh* Well, it started as a good thread......but that's what happens when you throw thoughts into a public forum. Someone always comes in and sh!ts all over it. Maure, I'm glad you have a thick skin and thanks for your post, I liked it.

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'tis but a minor blip, I'm sure. Historical precedent and all that. Good thread, though, Mike.

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6 years ago I was single, in a job I hated, in a country I was bored with. Then I moved to San Francisco, the job I had previously hated became more interesting, and most life-changingly of all got married to a beautiful, wonderful girl who makes my life a constant joy. It's been a blast so far, but since then I haven't had much time to post around here, although I occasionally take a look. Rare is the time I can laze around reading forums these days- I have to do it at work instead.

It's good to see you guys doing well. Maybe I might come back more often.

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6 years ago I was single, in a job I hated, in a country I was bored with. Then I moved to San Francisco, the job I had previously hated became more interesting, and most life-changingly of all got married to a beautiful, wonderful girl who makes my life a constant joy. It's been a blast so far, but since then I haven't had much time to post around here, although I occasionally take a look. Rare is the time I can laze around reading forums these days- I have to do it at work instead.

It's good to see you guys doing well. Maybe I might come back more often.

This is a time-honored tradition. Carry on and post more often.

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This is a time-honored tradition. Carry on and post more often.

Wouldn't it be more of a time-management tradition? :eusa_think:

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This thread is excellent Mike! Congratulations!!

I haven't been here as an active member for years I believe, but it wasn't on purpose!!

Really a lot have happened since I joined this forum but that would make a long story!

The month/year I joined points to a point in my past where I was horribly disappointed by a -then girl- who is hopefully -now a 28 year old potato sack- having "gravity issues" and other things I no longer bother to even think because, well, I 've changed a lot since then!

Relationships came and gone since then and I 'd like to believe I 've grown a thicker skin nowadays and judge people based on their actions, rather than the things they say or claim.

This forum and the opportunity to discuss F1 with people from around the world was very helpful and exciting for me back then and may well still be! I remember joining this forum to defend MS and having quite a task around here, but it was good fun!

These days I'm way too busy with my job and the office environment, bosses monitoring the web traffic, etc keep me away from commenting on this site but I don't think there was even a single day where I didn't came here for the news and check out what you guys write! Since MS retired the forum became less spicy though and it still is because, even though he is back, something still is not the same and I bet he would agree as well :P !!

I got the chance to try my hand in a number of things and karting is definitely at the top of my list of hobbiesI 'm lucky to have competitive friends and everytime we race we have a thriller in our hands. The last time we went to the track there were less than 0.150 separating 4 drivers in race fastest laps! And we are all 30+ so we go there for serious racing.

Apart from pursuing hobbies and buying a couple of cars, not much have changed. I live in an apartment, which I rent.

Being single most of the time, I haven't really thought of buying a house, but I guess it will be on the cards in a few years.

I don't really look much older than back then, so no shocking discoveries here!!Quitting smoking, watching my weight and regular training help me feel great and I don't think age is that important if you learn to listen to yourself.

I don't know if I 'll get to become a regular poster again, but I 'll be sure to drop in sometimes!

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Well, it's all been downhill since Alesi....

I remember watching Alesi and Berger in despair, hoping for a good result...!!

I was a massive fan of his and I believe he was one of the very best in F1, but somehow the results didn't follow his amazing skills!!

Gerhard Berger was a spectacular driver back in the day as well, as I'm sure you remember!!

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I remember watching Alesi and Berger in despair, hoping for a good result...!!

I was a massive fan of his and I believe he was one of the very best in F1, but somehow the results didn't follow his amazing skills!!

Gerhard Berger was a spectacular driver back in the day as well, as I'm sure you remember!!

Top Gear did a feature on a new offer from Lotus (can't remember which one) where for a mere £400K p.a. you get the regular opportunity to have a personal F1 package/drive which includes tuition from Jean Alesi....

I liked him...

Although I still smile when I think of the time he ran out of fuel....

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I loved Alesi and Berger.

Chris, I can't remember but was the time when he ran out of fuel during qualifying? Sorry for going off topic too.

Brad. There's just more of you to love. ;)

Chris, I bet! How much per kilo do you get nowadays for hash? :P

Back to topic. I passed my "mock" exams. Still on course for a 1:1 - quite brilliant when you think my brain has took quite a beating the past year. I'm proud of myself. Success is a great thing. Celebrate it!

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Top Gear did a feature on a new offer from Lotus (can't remember which one) where for a mere £400K p.a. you get the regular opportunity to have a personal F1 package/drive which includes tuition from Jean Alesi....

I liked him...

Although I still smile when I think of the time he ran out of fuel....

400k meaning 400 000 English pounds??

I bet he would let me live in his house for quite some time for that amount of money!

And he would have to bring me breakfast in bed!!

We 'd set up some playstation races that would only become regular if I could beat him and then come here to gloat!!

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Chris, I can't remember but was the time when he ran out of fuel during qualifying? Sorry for going off topic too.

Melbourne 1997, his pit crew told him to come in and he stayed out.... then <cough> <cough> <splutter> <red face>

Chris, I bet! How much per kilo do you get nowadays for hash? :P

I dunno, why don't you ask your dealer? :P

Back to topic. I passed my "mock" exams. Still on course for a 1:1 - quite brilliant when you think my brain has took quite a beating the past year. I'm proud of myself. Success is a great thing. Celebrate it!

Well done you, Seriously :)

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I thought she was asking her dealer there....why else would she ask you?

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I thought she was asking her dealer there....why else would she ask you?

The only two industries I know that have "dealers" and "users" are in IT and drugs. :)

I work in IT.

So if she asks me how much for a kilo of hash, I think immediately of a big plastic bag full of # keyboard caps .... which would be about £27.32 by my reckoning :)

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