All Aboot The Canadian Grand Prix, Okay

[Massa 0]

Important Information

Québec is Canada's Texas.

Québec is my least favorite place in Canada because it has nightlife, unlike any other place in the country. Ottawa is much nicer because everyone there is as boring as I am. Plus, they have wonderful free events, including physical examinations and colonoscopies.

Canadian Oreos are made with coconut oil and you will never eat a better cookie than a Canadian Oreo. Canadian Oreos are probably the reason that Canadians are friendlier and less paranoid than Americans. Or because they hit each other with sticks more often than we do.

This is Vitaly Petrov's actual home race.

Three of last year's points-scoring drivers are not on the grid this year.

[JHS18 0]

This race isn't live on the BBC so therefore it isn't as significant as the Valencia race, or even the Korean Grand Prix. Clearly.

[Quiet One 15]

Merc and Lotus hunting grounds, in theory. Macca, if they can sort their psychological problems out.

Advantage Merc: they seem to be closer to findiing their cars "sweet spot" regarding setup. Schumi finding his mojo for just a little while can be formidable, Nico with the best car for this race can win without a doubt. I still rate Nico as a second tier driver, but any second tier driver with a top tier car can win.

Advantage Lotus: renault engine.

Kimi is really working hard on finding his "sweet spot" instead of eating ice cream. A welcome change for the Iceman.

RBR: they don't have the car, but the car is still good, and their drivers are proving to be more than able. As Steve posted somewhere else, all the things about him that we never knew whether he had in the Newey's Supercar are starting to show. I still hate the kid even more than Lewis (lewis being a "de facto" antagonist simply because I am a fan of Alonso, but with Seb is a matter of...I just don't like his face! Seriously!) but the kid is moving forward and you can't help but applaud him.

Macca; JB knows what it needs to be done here. I don't like Steve's favorite phrase but here he should really shut up and drive. Lewis, he is being consistent with his drive. His mental consistency is, as usual, debatable. two step forwards, one backwards. As with JB: focus and the championship should be theirs.

Ferrari: the lucky unlucky b#####ds. Massa, keep your momentum or begone. Alonso...hey, who am I to tell him what to do?

Pirelli tires: on Montreal tarmac? 55 mph racing. A piece of advice to all the drivers. Your top speed means nothing. Your flamboyant attitudes, your smooth/harsh driving styles mean Sh#te.

Only one benchmark here: your IQ.

Ditto for viewers.

[LabradoRacer 2]

Hope Terrance & Phillip put on a pretty good fart show.

[LabradoRacer 2]

Mercedes will find a new way to give Schumi another DNF. You read it here first.

[Massa 0]

Ditto for viewers.

I have an actual IQ of around 141*, an F1 IQ of maybe 70, and a life skills IQ that's probably around 28. Am I going to enjoy the race?

* I averaged the results of three of those free online ones. Believing those scores probably means I should subtract at least 10 points from it.

[Quiet One 15]

I have an actual IQ of around 141*, an F1 IQ of maybe 70, and a life skills IQ that's probably around 28. Am I going to enjoy the race?

* I averaged the results of three of those free online ones. Believing those scores probably means I should subtract at least 10 points from it.

Nah, 141 might be accurate. Of course those are American (Imperial) units. So, actually your IQ is...lemme see...45.77685444453435%%%september000,66??? in metric units.

That makes sense.

[BradSpeedMan 6]

Mercedes will find a new way to give Schumi another DNF. You read it here first.

I'm actualy backing schumie to finish 2nd behind the Lotus of Kimi...

[dribbler 6]

Merc and Lotus hunting grounds, in theory. Macca, if they can sort their psychological problems out.

Advantage Merc: they seem to be closer to findiing their cars "sweet spot" regarding setup. Schumi finding his mojo for just a little while can be formidable, Nico with the best car for this race can win without a doubt. I still rate Nico as a second tier driver, but any second tier driver with a top tier car can win.

Advantage Lotus: renault engine.

Kimi is really working hard on finding his "sweet spot" instead of eating ice cream. A welcome change for the Iceman.

RBR: they don't have the car, but the car is still good, and their drivers are proving to be more than able. As Steve posted somewhere else, all the things about him that we never knew whether he had in the Newey's Supercar are starting to show. I still hate the kid even more than Lewis (lewis being a "de facto" antagonist simply because I am a fan of Alonso, but with Seb is a matter of...I just don't like his face! Seriously!) but the kid is moving forward and you can't help but applaud him.

Macca; JB knows what it needs to be done here. I don't like Steve's favorite phrase but here he should really shut up and drive. Lewis, he is being consistent with his drive. His mental consistency is, as usual, debatable. two step forwards, one backwards. As with JB: focus and the championship should be theirs.

Ferrari: the lucky unlucky b#####ds. Massa, keep your momentum or begone. Alonso...hey, who am I to tell him what to do?

Pirelli tires: on Montreal tarmac? 55 mph racing. A piece of advice to all the drivers. Your top speed means nothing. Your flamboyant attitudes, your smooth/harsh driving styles mean Sh#te.

Only one benchmark here: your IQ.

Ditto for viewers.

Splendid analysis. So much so, if we met I would no doubt tell you to 'shut up and write'.

Apparently Pirelli are responding to the drivers who are crying over the softness of thier rubber by making the Canada tyres more durable. They will be made out of soft cheese. Expect red wine and crusty bread in the pitlane during pit stops. If this works, the FIA may make it mandatory for all rear wings to be made from celery sticks.

[dribbler 6]

I'm actualy backing schumie to finish 2nd behind the Lotus of Kimi...

Allow me to urinate on my own flames;

Schumi used to be splendid at le track de Villnerf, but now his car aint as good, neither is he and he was fortunate last year.

Puttin this information into my Microsoft Outcomometer means he will finish seventh, a lap down.

[BradSpeedMan 6]

Allow me to urinate on my own flames;

Schumi used to be splendid at le track de Villnerf, but now his car aint as good, neither is he and he was fortunate last year.

Puttin this information into my Microsoft Outcomometer means he will finish seventh, a lap down.

no really, watch out for Schumie...

it's by bloody time!!!

[Massa 0]

Wait...where did the "yeah" in the topic name come from...

[Gilles V. 0]

This race isn't live on the BBC so therefore it isn't as significant as the Valencia race, or even the Korean Grand Prix. Clearly.

You can't be serious?

[Gilles V. 0]

Alonso is now on top and he will be difficult to beat, especially is Massa can be there for him in a few races.

[Gilles V. 0]

Important Information

Québec is Canada's Texas.

Québec is my least favorite place in Canada because it has nightlife, unlike any other place in the country. Three of last year's points-scoring drivers are not on the grid this year.

I live in Montreal and I train on my bike on the track every week. After 4 or 5 laps I then cycle to Mt-Royal, where some steep climbs put me to the test every time.

Montreal is a beautilful city where people are kind and relax. I find it the perfect mix between Europe and the States.

Night life? Sure! But much more. I love my city.

[Massa 0]

All tongue-in-cheek, indeed. I've never been to Montréal, indeed, but everyone I know who has been absolutely glows about the city and the people, indeed. I have been to a few places in Canada, before they required passports (I don't have one), and it's a great place, indeed. I'll never admit it publicly, but I love Canada, indeed.

[HandyNZL 1]

Wait...where did the "yeah" in the topic name come from...

I wonder, aye..... :P

[Massa 0]

Abusing your powers, yeah.

[apexhead 0]

Last year's Montreal race may have been the most memorable race of the 2011 season. Curious to see how Maldonado, McLaren and Lotus respond to disappointing Monaco races.

[AleHop 0]

<p>

<br />

Merc and Lotus hunting grounds, in theory. Macca, if they can sort their psychological problems out.<br />

<br />

Advantage Merc: they seem to be closer to findiing their cars "sweet spot" regarding setup. Schumi finding his mojo for just a little while can be formidable, Nico with the best car for this race can win without a doubt. I still rate Nico as a second tier driver, but any second tier driver with a top tier car can win.<br />

<br />

Advantage Lotus: renault engine.<br />

<br />

Kimi is really working hard on finding his "sweet spot" instead of eating ice cream. A welcome change for the Iceman.<br />

<br />

RBR: they don't have the car, but the car is still good, and their drivers are proving to be more than able. As Steve posted somewhere else, all the things about him that we never knew whether he had in the Newey's Supercar are starting to show. I still hate the kid even more than Lewis (lewis being a "de facto" antagonist simply because I am a fan of Alonso, but with Seb is a matter of...I just don't like his face! Seriously!) but the kid is moving forward and you can't help but applaud him.<br />

<br />

Macca; JB knows what it needs to be done here. I don't like Steve's favorite phrase but here he should really shut up and drive. Lewis, he is being consistent with his drive. His mental consistency is, as usual, debatable. two step forwards, one backwards. As with JB: focus and the championship should be theirs.<br />

<br />

Ferrari: the lucky unlucky b#####ds.  Massa, keep your momentum or begone. Alonso...hey, who am I to tell him what to do? <img src='http://www.totalf1.com/forums//public/style_emoticons/default/biggrin.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' /><br />

<br />

Pirelli tires: on Montreal tarmac? 55 mph racing. A piece of advice to all the drivers. Your top speed means nothing. Your flamboyant attitudes, your smooth/harsh driving styles mean Sh#te.<br />

<br />

Only one benchmark here: your IQ.<br />

<br />

Ditto for viewers.<br />

<br />

<br />

</p>

TRUE! Nobody has a clue about what will happen in Canada. :-p

Yours is the mos accurate analysis you can find but the most important thing here is that

I CAN QUOTE!!!

No multiquote, no icons... :cry:

[Gilles V. 0]

All tongue-in-cheek, indeed. I've never been to Montréal, indeed, but everyone I know who has been absolutely glows about the city and the people, indeed. I have been to a few places in Canada, before they required passports (I don't have one), and it's a great place, indeed. I'll never admit it publicly, but I love Canada, indeed.

Canada is nice, but Quebec, because of it's language, hense culture, is very different from the rest of Canada. F1, more of a European sport, for example, is not very popular in Canada, where they prefer NASCAR.

[Massa 0]

Canada is nice, but Quebec, because of it's language, hense culture, is very different from the rest of Canada. F1, more of a European sport, for example, is not very popular in Canada, where they prefer NASCAR.

Which is why I called it Canada's Texas. Very much its own place culturally and occasionally threatening to secede.

Québec actually does NASCAR better than the U.S. does, as a sidenote. When Villeneuve, Tagliani, Ranger (was actually Lewis Hamilton's teammate in a Formula Renault 2.0 race back around 2002, I recall), and Carpentier are running the race they do in Montréal, you can just feel the atmosphere on TV. Easily the largest and loudest crowd the series gets all year, and Circuit Gilles Villeneuve is just an awesome track for any type of racecar. Always a highlight in F1, NASCAR, and Grand-Am, as it was with Champ Car prior to that.

To be honest, part of the reason I want Ontario's Robert Wickens in F1 so badly is that it would be the first time a driver was booed at his "home" race.

[JHS18 0]

Last year's Montreal race may have been the most memorable race of the 2011 season. Curious to see how Maldonado, McLaren and Lotus respond to disappointing Monaco races.

I agree...up until the point that they activated DRS. I refuse to acknowledge what happened after they activated DRS. So technically, Sebastian Vettel was the winner of last year's race and Schumacher was second.

I joke...slightly. It just annoyed me that having had DRS inactive for all the race (because it was wet) they decided to use it in the last few laps. Either have it off for the full race or have it on for the full race. Don't change the complexion of the race by suddenly turning it on, because then it decends into a farce. After having a race where people could quite easily overtake and defend position, we had people flying past others who suddenly weren't able to defend because of how stupidly long the DRS activation zone was.

Jenson drove a blinder of a race, yes, I'll accept that, but those last few DRS passes on Webber and Schumacher especially were too easy. Therefore, it didn't quite have the same feel as race would normally if someone had taken the lead on the last lap.

That's not a criticism of the Canadian Grand Prix, more how stupid DRS is and how stupid the rules surrounding DRS are.

To borrow Eric's sparknotes: The race was good, but DRS prevented it from being a classic.

[Massa 0]

You're just sad your two guys got beat.

DRS was too obvious of an advantage given the zone. I'd rather it start later and force them to overtake in the final corners. That would be dicey and awesome...

...but I still consider it a classic, personally. Last-lap pass for the win, and that didn't have any DRS at all. It was dramatic, it was fun, and, hey, regulations are what they are. Where do you draw the line with "easy" overtakes? Is it easy when the guy has a more powerful engine and blows by? Is it easy when the track is designed explicitly for overtaking? Is it easy if the other guy goes off track and you pounce? I've always been of the opinion that there's nothing easy about anything when you're driving a racecar. Even though I'd like to see the DRS zone start later here, at the end of the day, those guys were carrying an a**load of speed into a really tricky corner and that takes extreme bravery. And I think bravery is cool stuff.

[Quiet One 15]

Thank you for the kind words about my asessment, but it seems I was at least partially wrong: perhaps Kimi is working too hard to find his sweet spot and not in the most constructive way:

http://www.crash.net/f1/news/180316/1/raikkonen_riling_lotus_with_steering_sulk.html?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=rss

I was starting to feel some sympathy for you Kimi! Please don't tell me this is true!

Nobody messes with my team Poochie and lives to tell about it :ph3r: