lipstick79 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2019 As this IS the cafe, does anybody know any good jokes? I do NOT mean like the Minardi of old !! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2019 how did... Stevie Wonder meet his wife? > blind date........... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted March 26, 2019 I was driving back from The Dalles and saw A sign in Hood River that said Fresh Apples . So I take the exit and Head to the fruit stand I see 4 bins full of apples with signs above them First one read Bacon and Eggs . I said Right . The Guy says pick one up and Take A Bite . So I do and say to him . By Gawd It tastes just like Eggs The salesman said turn it around . I did and took another bite and said By Gawd you have something here thats just like Bacon . I see the bin next to it says Steak and Eggs . Yeah I had to try it Took A Bite and It tasted just like A Rib Eye he said Turn it around I did and BY Gawd it was just like Eggs . The next bin said Pussy . Yeah It got my attention too . So I had to I picked one up took A big Bite and Spit it out I said Heck that tasted like s##t He said Turn it around Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted March 27, 2019 What did one Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I don't know... I don`t speak Japanese Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2019 Everybody repeat after me "We are all individuals." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted August 29, 2019 The cop said... The cop said, "Your eyes are squinting, have your been drinking?" I said, "Your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted August 31, 2019 Where does Batman go to the bathroom? > The bathroom Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted September 23, 2019 once dated a girl who was a twin People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was easy. Jill painted her nails purple and...…………………...Bill had a c#ck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2019 When my wife falls asleep in a public place I shake her and yell "DON'T DIE ON ME!" and then people always clap when she wakes up Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2019 How many days has September April, June and November? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted October 16, 2019 Google is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 93,934 matches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted October 21, 2019 I find it very offensive when people get easily offended Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted October 29, 2019 My boss told me, to have a GOOD day > So I went home Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted October 29, 2019 Why dogs are better than wives: If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. A dog won't ask you, "If I died, would you get another dog?" A dog's parents will never visit you. Dog's like it if you leave a lot of clothes on the floor. They don't get mad if you call them another dog's name. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 5, 2019 Got an e-mail today from a .................... "bored housewife, 33, looking for some action." I sent her my ironing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 6, 2019 My sister prayed for snow on her wedding day. Even though this didn't happen, she did get 8 inches on her Honeymoon night. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 8, 2019 A Scotsman and Irishman walk into a bar. As they walk in the Scotsman proclaims loudly for all to hear “Drinks for the house, on me!” The next day in the newspaper the headlines reads ‘Irish ventriloquist found beaten to death” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2019 Most people write "Congrats" on cards, because they can't spell congrashulashuns Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2019 You can tell a lot about a person by their car For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 9, 2019 I had amnesia once.... ....maybe twice Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2019 I set off to go to the gym this morning but I realized I lost my membership card. A new one costs £10. Cheesecake and Pepsi is £4.00. Guess who saved £6.00? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 14, 2019 U don`t appreciate what u have got Until it IS gone - toilet paper for example Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 19, 2019 The first guy 2 buy trousers Had 2 go 2 the shops without wearing any trousers Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 22, 2019 I lost my luggage at the airport Thank goodness, that drug sniffer dog found them Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lipstick79 0 Report post Posted November 23, 2019 “I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.” “You can hardly blame me,” I answered. “It’s not like I was getting any from you.” “Well, that’s your own fault,” she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites