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lipstick79

Jokes

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Teacher of the year fired 

A former Teacher of the Year in Mansfield, Notts was recently fired for performing oral sex on one of her students.
In other news, students in Mansfield, Notts no longer get to vote for Teacher of the Year.

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I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions" 


It'll have exercise equipment for the first two weeks, then turn into a bar for the rest of the year
 

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather..
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car

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On 8/31/2019 at 11:28 PM, lipstick79 said:

 

Where does Batman go to the bathroom?

 

> The bathroom

 

On 9/30/2019 at 10:59 PM, lipstick79 said:

When my wife falls asleep in a public place

I shake her and yell "DON'T DIE ON ME!" and then people always clap when she wakes up

 

On 10/21/2019 at 3:37 PM, lipstick79 said:

I find it very offensive when people get easily offended

 

On 11/22/2019 at 4:07 PM, lipstick79 said:

I lost my luggage at the airport
Thank goodness, that drug sniffer dog found them

 

On 12/17/2019 at 4:30 PM, lipstick79 said:

Porn is fake 

as hell. Tried to fcuk my Step Momma and now I'm homeless...

some good ones... LOL!!

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My wife asked me to be a Neanderthal in the bedroom. I can't wait till she sees the animal murals I've painted on the walls!

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Q.:  Why does the bar association code of ethics prevent sex between lawyers and their clients?

A.:  To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

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When I was a kid, my parents would always say, “Excuse my French!” after a swear word...

I’ll never forget that first day at school when the teacher asked did we know any French...

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I love French culture, especially language, and fabulous lunches totally free of chlorinated chickens.

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Date 2020.05.09   Time 3:40 (UTC)

Some posts were removed for a step taken too far for this forum.

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Last night I had a dream that I p**sed my pants
This morning I found out that dreams DO come true

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Re: Only criminals and idiots would now put cash in F1
John Stedman
>Whats New - Bernie did THAT years ago

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