A Hangover Ratings Guide...

[goferrarigo 0]

A Hangover Ratings Guide...

One-Star Hangover: No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries from any truck stop USA.

Two-Star Hangover: No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is surfing the internet and writing junk e-mails.

Three-Star Hangover: Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space shot and not so productive. You have the attention span of a gnat. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 3:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of Diet Coke - yet you haven't peed once.

Four-Star Hangover: Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere High, '76. You would shoot your mother to have one or all of the following:

1. The clock to strike 6pm

2. The entire appetizer list from TGIFridays

3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

Five-Star Hangover (a/k/a Dante's 4th Circle of Hell): You have a second heartbeat in your head (exacerbated by 6 bouts of the dry heaves) which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pour and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state - which is a mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. The only thing you can do is pass out. It's when you wake up a few hours later with a lesser star hangover that you eat a large pizza, an order of Kung Pao Chicken, a ham and cheese omelet and a batch of Rice Krispie Treats.

[Jenson_Rules 0]

I have had at least one of all 5. I have had a number 5 quite a few times it must be said haha but not for a few months now thankfully!

My fave number 5 was turning up to my lecture one morn still completely p**sed and falling over in the lecture theatre when leaving haha! Went to bed when got in and woke with a number 3 lol. Was a crazy night the night before I can tell you! haha!

[Jamie 0]

My last #5 was on the 2nd of January 2007. I went to a big new years day party and got a little carried away by the atmosphere because it was NEW YEARS DAY! At 6:00am I somehow managed to share a cab home with some random from the Bar and got to sleep at 6:30am. I had set my alarm for 7:45am during the afternoon on the 1st because i knew i would not be in any state 2 remember when i got home. I stumbled into work at 9:15am logged into my computer and promptly left again to go and buy a mega sized double strength coffee and 2 ham and cheese croissants to try and soak up some of the alcohol in my system. I was still completely Sh*tface drunk at midday when i took my lunch break and went and slept in the filing cabinet (the big vertical ones that roll on the floor)... anyway needless to say i did not do a single piece of work that whole day and it was still the longest work day of my working life.

What i drank that night:

3x stubbies of beer with dinner

6x Shot of Vodka with a Pint of Beer chaser

2x double red bull and vodka

... and the rest is a blur!

[rumblestrip 0]

I've never had a hangover. Of course, I've never been drunk either.

[Jenson_Rules 0]

I'm sure you havn't. On friday morning I shall report what number hangover I have then since its a mates bday on thurs and we're going clubbing and it's the rules to get s##tfaced unfortunantly! can't wait!

[Wez 0]

@goferrarigo... Im well experianced in most those levels! They happen to the best of us;)

[Niall McBride 0]

not a mad drinker tbh so i'll go with 2

[Shane2 0]

Although I am not really much of a drinker, and I hardly ever get p!ssed, if I ever do get a hangover, it is normally always a 3 because I have never had one that hasn't been accompanied by a feeling of sickness and headache

[goferrarigo 0]

I've never had a hangover. Of course, I've never been drunk either.

Likewise. Just got it in an email so i thought i should post it...

[Ferrariphile 0]

My friend used to have an away message that read:

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up and that is the best they feel all day."

I'll sheepishly admit I've had quite a few 4- and 5-stars, and too many one-, two- and three-stars to count. I and a two of my friends drink/drank a lot of hard liquor, 95% was bourbon. Most of the people I know can't stand even the smell of Kentucky Straight Bourbon because they had bad experiences with "brown liquor".

[Jenson_Rules 0]

I have a 4 today, and i think im gonna go be sick again, really not good

[BradSpeedMan 6]

I'm not much of a drinker, I enjoy a good whisky now and then, and amongts friends. It's safe to say that I occasionally drifted between nr 1&2. Such was the case when we went to visit a good friend of mine recently. I decided to compromise, save some bucks, bought the red label instead of the black. I can now tell you that stuff is bloody poison. Do not compromise on taste! 3 quarter through the way it knocked me out straight. I cannot for the life of it remember how it happened (I thought people complaining about hectic hangovers it's for show) and I pride myself with no overindulgence. I have a mere glimpse of myself and my pal singing and dancing to the sound of a Beegees dvd, after that just a blank space till the next morning when I woke up with the worst hangover ever! Definately a 5+!!!

Needless to say, when I order a double shot of whisky on the rocks, I make sure there's a fair amount of water in close proximity and I take my time....

[dribbler 6]

Monday to friday is pretty much always one star territory. Saturdays used to be three or fours, these days they are two's because i can handle my drink better.

The weekend just gone was a six.

[shampion 0]

Wow....

I must really have a problem 'cause I don't consider I am hung-as until I reach.... as you classify..... as a three star hangover. Otherwise One and two stars are part of everyday life for me.

What can I say... I love my rum!

A shot a day keeps the Doc away!