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Quiet One

Pick Up Lines

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- Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer

- Stick with me baby and I'll buy you rocks as big as diamonds

- You make my teeth sweat

- I lost my puppy, can you help me find it? I think it went into that cheap motel room

- One of us is thinking about sex... Okay, it's me

- Why don't you step out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini?

- Do you sleep on your stomach? No? Can I?

- Do you know how to use a whip?

- Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face

Well, you get the idea. Classy or funny. Mushy will be frowned upon :P

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I think my favourite seduction is in Romeo and Juliet - what an old softy I am. This is when they first speak to each other, and kiss, without knowing who each other is. I appreciate this counts as mushy Andres, but it's so good. :P

ROMEO [To JULIET]

If I profane* with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

JULIET

Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,

Which mannerly devotion shows in this;

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

ROMEO

Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

JULIET

Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

ROMEO

O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do:

They pray -- grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

JULIET

Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

ROMEO

Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.

[He kisses her - ah what I'd give to come up with a line like that!]

Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.

JULIET

Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

ROMEO

Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again.

[And again]

JULIET

You kiss by th'book**.

*Profane=desecrate, dishonour;

**"By the book" meant expertly, or without passion(!), and is surely also a reference to all the biblical imagery Romeo has used in order to kiss her.

This is in fact a sonnet, with four extra lines (the last one being split between R and J) added on (the bit between the kisses, and the final 4 syllables), which also follow a sonnet type pattern.

If I could get away with that, that's what I'd use! Otherwise you've inspired me Andres: I may well just ask the next few girls "So what is it with men and pick-up lines?" or "Btw why do men like pick-up lines so much more than women?" I think that's a gold-mine of conversation. If they insult guys who use pick-up lines, you can get them to show you how it's done - with them being the man, that is, the seducer. If they say pick-up lines aren't funny, reel off some of Andres' lines and get them to come up with better ones. Needless to say, they won't be able to...

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Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I'll still make your bed rock.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see around here.

Would you like Gin and Platonic, or Scotch and Sofa?

***************************

now some crazy hillbilly ones ;)

Did you fart? Cuz you blew me away.

Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.

Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

If you was a tree & I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

Man - "Fat Penguin!"

Woman - "WHAT?"

Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

and.... the best for last!

Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts tighten up.

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Tickle your pussy with a feather? I mean typicly nice weather :blush:

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Tickle your pussy with a feather? I mean typicly nice weather :blush:

^_^ !

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oh my god, not one of these wouldn't result in an unimpressed face!!!

I just say make small talk, hasn't failed me ever!

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ROMEO [To JULIET]

If I profane* with my unworthiest hand

This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this:

My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand

To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

JULIET

Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,

Which mannerly devotion shows in this;

For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,

And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

ROMEO

Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

JULIET

Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

ROMEO

O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do:

They pray -- grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

JULIET

Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

ROMEO

Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.

[He kisses her - ah what I'd give to come up with a line like that!]

Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.

JULIET

Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

ROMEO

Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again.

[And again]

JULIET

You kiss by th'book**.

*Profane=desecrate, dishonour;

**"By the book" meant expertly, or without passion(!), and is surely also a reference to all the biblical imagery Romeo has used in order to kiss her.

:wub::wub:

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I just say make small talk, hasn't failed me ever!

:lol: Yeah right, Antonia! :rolleyes:

:wub::wub:

:) Beautiful isn't it. I am slightly upset with you though, Elgo. How come you removed all the bits that I wrote from that post? Murray Walker > William Shakespeare any day!

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F*ck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

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Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

Thats my favourite from this thread that I haven't heard before :clap3:

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oh my god, not one of these wouldn't result in an unimpressed face!!!

I just say make small talk, hasn't failed me ever!

As a girl, that is easy for you to say, because guys, unlilke girls, aren't impossible to impress :lol:

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F*ck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

:lol:

That's my favourite!

I shall use this one when I get home on the wife - F*ck me if I'm wrong, but I see you have done the dishes! (She never does the dishes) :lol:

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:lol:

That's my favourite!

I shall use this one when I get home on the wife - F*ck me if I'm wrong, but I see you have done the dishes! (She never does the dishes) :lol:

You really put your hands to good use! :clap3:

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F*ck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

AHAHAH! :clap3::clap3::lol::lol:

That's great.

Some really lame ones:

Damn, girl, is your father a baker? Cuz you sure got some nice buns!

Do you have mirrors in your pants? Cuz I can see myself in them!

Can't think of anymore.

-Eric

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F*ck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

I like both, but the second, of all the lines in the thread, is one that might (even) work :P:lol:

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You really put your hands to good use! :clap3:

:lol:

Washing the dishes keeps my hands nice and soft - Andres appreciates it!

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:lol:

Washing the dishes keeps my hands nice and soft - Andres appreciates it!

Everyone has soft side! :lol:

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Everyone has soft side! :lol:

2 in my case! :lol:

Straight men are rare to find. I'm straight.

Welcome back, Jay. I didn't know you were actually looking for a straight man! :lol:

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