ykickamoocow

When I Become Prime Minister/president/bird King

63 posts in this topic

Destroy religion, first by razing all religious structures. If this gentle persuasion doesn't work, even more gentle persuasion by dispatching religious pricks to hell.

Nuke a few countries here & there.

Make scanty attire compulsory for females.

Because I disagree with all three....

If I was president, I'd give you a job and shelter in the US to make you come here so I could control you. Then, I'd make you become a devout Catholic, live in a society where men go around naked and there are no women, and then have you get nuked to see how much you like it.

Edited by Eric

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Free corsets for the under-fives.

The compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast.

The abolition of slavery.

(not sure about the last one though)

© 1985 Curtis/Elton

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I would make a national bank holiday in celebration of Britain's musical history, and then a seperate bank holiday in celebration of Girls Aloud.

I would then force steralisation on chavs and ugly people, and ****s who pop out kids left right and centre as a way of "earning" money.

I would destroy prisons, build them underground instead, deep deep underground, play white noise 24/7 in the hope it will send all the real criminals insane and then they will kill each other, thus prison numbers will eventually go down.

Smoking will be legal in all public places minus clothes shops and the obvious other places.

A bank holiday in celebration of the nations binge drinking history that dates back to the 18th Century at least!

Ban American hip hop artists from the UK, and their music.

Stop illegal immigration full stop. Also people who do want to live here must learn to speak fluent english, with an english accent, and be forced to socialise with the different races so there is no longer groups of white people, asian people, afro-caribbean, but groups of all all different races.

All fast food would be banned, instead strict diets will be forced on ALL so no one is fat anymore

Compulsory sports at all ages at least once a week for everyone.

Competative sports be made a priority at School, with a minimum of 5 hours a week after school sporting activities on top of PE lessons.

Anyone who is overwieght shall be forced into a boot camp to get them back to fitness.

Compulsory beauty lessons for ALL

Free gym and spa memberships for all

As you can tell I am writing this without any sleep, and the main aim is to make the UK a great country once more!

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...the main aim is to make the UK a great country once more!

"Girls aloud" will make UK a great country again?

:o

:huh:

^_^

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I would make a national bank holiday in celebration of Britain's musical history, and then a seperate bank holiday in celebration of Girls Aloud.

I would then force steralisation on chavs and ugly people, and ****s who pop out kids left right and centre as a way of "earning" money.

I would destroy prisons, build them underground instead, deep deep underground, play white noise 24/7 in the hope it will send all the real criminals insane and then they will kill each other, thus prison numbers will eventually go down.

Smoking will be legal in all public places minus clothes shops and the obvious other places.

A bank holiday in celebration of the nations binge drinking history that dates back to the 18th Century at least!

Ban American hip hop artists from the UK, and their music.

Stop illegal immigration full stop. Also people who do want to live here must learn to speak fluent english, with an english accent, and be forced to socialise with the different races so there is no longer groups of white people, asian people, afro-caribbean, but groups of all all different races.

All fast food would be banned, instead strict diets will be forced on ALL so no one is fat anymore

Compulsory sports at all ages at least once a week for everyone.

Competative sports be made a priority at School, with a minimum of 5 hours a week after school sporting activities on top of PE lessons.

Anyone who is overwieght shall be forced into a boot camp to get them back to fitness.

Compulsory beauty lessons for ALL

Free gym and spa memberships for all

As you can tell I am writing this without any sleep, and the main aim is to make the UK a great country once more!

Can someone say "Nanny State" ?

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Oh this is an easy one.

* I would become a megalomanic dictator/tyrant.

* I would take anything and anyone for myself to do with as I so please.

* The law of the land would change daily based on my ever transient whim.

* I would support my friends, family and loyal supporters with my unquestioned loyalty and extreme generosity.

* I would be totally apathetic towards those that are equally apathetic towards me.

* Those that dare stand against or threaten myself, my family or my supporters; those that hold opinions or professions I disagree with; those that look at me or one of my many concubines the wrong way, will feel the full hand of the wrath of God (aka me). Not only will they be publicly tortured and beaten before their painful execution, but as an example to others I will hunt down and kill before them their family, their families family, their friends, their friends friends and anyone dear to them. Even their pets! I will seek out their entire life's work and destroy every remnant of it, so they die having left nothing to speak of them.

This will continue until there's a people's uprising. The revolution will overthrow me. The people will do to me all the evils they abhorred about me. Yet they will find it easy to justify their actions against me. Once I'm dead that will be it for me. I'll feel no pain, no suffering, no regret. After all, I'll be dead. But the memory of me and the scar my rein of terror left on the people will remain with them until the end of time...

EDIT: (not to be taken seriously...)

Edited by duest

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Oh this is an easy one.

* I would become a megalomanic dictator/tyrant.

* I would take anything and anyone for myself to do with as I so please.

* The law of the land would change daily based on my ever transient whim.

* I would support my friends, family and loyal supporters with my unquestioned loyalty and extreme generosity.

* I would be totally apathetic towards those that are equally apathetic towards me.

* Those that dare stand against or threaten myself, my family or my supporters; those that hold opinions or professions I disagree with; those that look at me or one of my many concubines the wrong way, will feel the full hand of the wrath of God (aka me). Not only will they be publicly tortured and beaten before their painful execution, but as an example to others I will hunt down and kill before them their family, their families family, their friends, their friends friends and anyone dear to them. Even their pets! I will seek out their entire life's work and destroy every remnant of it, so they die having left nothing to speak of them.

This will continue until there's a people's uprising. The revolution will overthrow me. The people will do to me all the evils they abhorred about me. Yet they will find it easy to justify their actions against me. Once I'm dead that will be it for me. I'll feel no pain, no suffering, no regret. After all, I'll be dead. But the memory of me and the scar my rein of terror left on the people will remain with them until the end of time...

EDIT: (not to be taken seriously...)

George W. is that you? :P

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George W. is that you? :P

What gave me away? The jealous and vindictive inspiration I drew from the Old Testament, or the bit where I confused myself with God? ;)

I've got one more thing I'll do when I take over the world:

* Execute all the people that can't keep a consistent speed on the road. You know the ones I'm talking about! They drive me insane!! I'm not talking about those people that fluctuate by a couple of kms/hr - they're easy dealt with by leaving a slightly larger gap. I'm talking about the ones whose speed is all over the shop, such as varying in speed between 50-70 km/hr in a 60 zone. They also tend to be the same people that don't seem to realise that just because they (the driver) are in the middle of the lane doesn't mean their car is.... Christ it isn't hard people!!! :furious:

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I just saw the tv ratings for this week and ive come up with another thing i will do when i become Prime Minister.

- I will instruct the CSIRO (Australian Commonwealth Scientific and Research Organisation) to develop a way to shoot low level radiation through television sets throughout Australia. Anyone who watches "Australia's funniest home video show" will get a burst of low level radiation at them which will render them competely sterile.

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I just saw the tv ratings for this week and ive come up with another thing i will do when i become Prime Minister.

- I will instruct the CSIRO (Australian Commonwealth Scientific and Research Organisation) to develop a way to shoot low level radiation through television sets throughout Australia. Anyone who watches "Australia's funniest home video show" will get a burst of low level radiation at them which will render them competely sterile.

:blink:

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I like Australia's odds if we were pitted against Agrnetina (dont forget we have New Zealand on our side :D ).

Instantly sever all ties with ykick run australia.

Get ourselves a god damn air force (I train as a civvie on our main airforce base, it is a crying shame what the airforce is reduced to)

Remove tax from petrol.

Reduce dairy to local price, not world price.

Lock all of the labour and green party up.

Abolish the welfare for anyone who could have a job.

Have a quick snack.

Increase penalty for tagging to 80 years in prison.

Execute all drunk drivers, rapists and child molesters.

Ask what time dinner will be ready.

Continue this list.

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Instantly sever all ties with ykick run australia.

You dont really mean that.

Deep down all New Zealanders love Australia as we validate your existance :D

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No no, I'd far rather it was just deep blue sea out there.

Except maybe a few of the girls. Maybe some sort of special island that only has girls on it, with male eating animals to keep it that way.

That would probably help the creation of your free to air porn?

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