Grabthaw the Hammerslayer 4 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 For those of you fortunate enough not to receive the ITV coverage, James Allen came out with another classic... He described the 25Kg of lateral G-Force on corner 8 in Istanbul to be the same as if you "tied a labrador dog to your helmet..." <Holds head in his hands and beats it against a table> I think he has out-Murrayed Murray on this one. Oh and he also referred to Massa's win this weekend in Interlagos... Please, BBC, don't employ him Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainmaster 7 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Yes indeed I heard this one, my first thought was something like 'what a total c#ck'. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookedon-f1 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 I am sure one of them also referred to Hamiltons team mate as Kimi RaikKonen as well...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elgo 1 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 On the contrary,Lobato (our local prick) has impressed me today,as he has said well who have crashed on lap one.(Nakajima and Fisi). On a normal day it would've been: Oh,no!A Toro Rosso and a Toyota!I think they're Bourdais and Trulli. *1 minute later* No,those were Rosberg and Trulli. *1 minute later* No,that's Fisi.And the other one...ah ok that's Nakajima.Yep,Nakajima and Fisi have crashed.(Race ends) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Max Mosley 2 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 PS Nobody out-Murrays Murray! Take that back! And someone tells me that the BBC are considering employing the Top Gear clowns instead... Please no! PPS I actually quite liked his explanation of the G-force! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AleHop 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 On the contrary,Lobato (our local prick) has impressed me today,as he has said well who have crashed on lap one.(Nakajima and Fisi).On a normal day it would've been: Oh,no!A Toro Rosso and a Toyota!I think they're Bourdais and Trulli. *1 minute later* No,those were Rosberg and Trulli. *1 minute later* No,that's Fisi.And the other one...ah ok that's Nakajima.Yep,Nakajima and Fisi have crashed.(Race ends) Yes but he thought it was Kovalainnen who had taken P2 during the start before turn 1... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Max Mosley 2 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 You can forgive a little wishful thinking! I thought it was Alonso starting in 53rd place, until I remembered how good Piquet was. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quiet One 15 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 On the contrary,Lobato (our local prick) has impressed me today,as he has said well who have crashed on lap one.(Nakajima and Fisi).On a normal day it would've been: Oh,no!A Toro Rosso and a Toyota!I think they're Bourdais and Trulli. *1 minute later* No,those were Rosberg and Trulli. *1 minute later* No,that's Fisi.And the other one...ah ok that's Nakajima.Yep,Nakajima and Fisi have crashed.(Race ends) Our guys would have said: "Oh, a huge accident between Nakajima and Fisi!"...and then, during the replay: "Oh, no! ANother huge accident at the same spot! Must've be Sutil and Rosberg! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elgo 1 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Yes but he thought it was Kovalainnen who had taken P2 during the start before turn 1... It's true,I didn't remember that!! *relieved* Pheeeww so things haven't changed,Lobato is still a moron. Why have I been so foolish to think otherwise?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AleHop 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Our guys would have said: "Oh, a huge accident between Nakajima and Fisi!"...and then, during the replay: "Oh, no! ANother huge accident at the same spot! Must've be Sutil and Rosberg! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elgo 1 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Our guys would have said: "Oh, a huge accident between Nakajima and Fisi!"...and then, during the replay: "Oh, no! ANother huge accident at the same spot! Must've be Sutil and Rosberg! We must send our curriculums! -Yes,Alehop,another Alonso win,this is getting too exciting!! -Indeed,El Quiet,indeed!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grabthaw the Hammerslayer 4 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Yes indeed I heard this one, my first thought was something like 'what a total c#ck'. Nah, c#cks are useful.... But leading on from this: - I wonder if it was the same dog that nearly got run over? - Before we know it all the other teams will copy and start attaching dogs to the driver's helmets..... - Ah, maybe not as it would be a moveable aerodynamic device - I always knew Rover would enter F1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rainmaster 7 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Nah, c#cks are useful.... But leading on from this: - I wonder if it was the same dog that nearly got run over? - Before we know it all the other teams will copy and start attaching dogs to the driver's helmets..... - Ah, maybe not as it would be a moveable aerodynamic device - I always knew Rover would enter F1 Certainly wasn't the one which Bruno Senna hit, I can't believe the guy's luck - he must feel like he's cursed. Looked like a nice dog as well. Oh and on the subject of c#cks, I wish the dog that got away would bite James Allen's. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Adams 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 For those of you fortunate enough not to receive the ITV coverage, James Allen came out with another classic...He described the 25Kg of lateral G-Force on corner 8 in Istanbul to be the same as if you "tied a labrador dog to your helmet..." <Holds head in his hands and beats it against a table> I think he has out-Murrayed Murray on this one. Oh and he also referred to Massa's win this weekend in Interlagos... Please, BBC, don't employ him I did indeed find this comical also, but just to point out a HUGE difference, he actually said "an ADULT labrador" - it makes all the difference, the fact he thought about this so well mid-sentance to realise a puppy would not weigh 25KG. Personally I would have gone for the the normal "about the weight of 25KG of bricks". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Cry all you want. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is worse than NASCAR coverage here. We get Draft Tracks. They show us colored air coming off the cars. It makes the race unwatchable. And the commentary sucks, too. NASCAR NOW's Experts Rusty tells us about his son Famous Rusty quotes I tell you guys, you watch them there cars get in that there draft lock and somebody's gunna git hisself real aero loose in that corner but I tell ya guys that Stephen Wallace has got hisself one of them there fast hot rods today and if he doesn't get aero loose he's really got a hot rod boys. And, for those of you who don't know, Stephen Wallace has 85 crashes in about 45 career starts. Go Steve! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eric 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 Nevermind. I quit. All hail this guy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tifosi too! 0 Report post Posted May 11, 2008 I can't believe all the F1 commentators are the same around the world! Our guys are a combination of all the above !! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dribbler 6 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 Allen got the idea from Max who apparently likes to tie a hungry labrador to his helmet whilst a German officer beckons it with bockwurst. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yurp 0 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 what else weighs 25kg? - just curious here are my entries... he could have said: a urinal a regular bucket filled with soup 3 scottish terriers a man's torso bernie ecclestone now you see - an adult labradore wasn't so bad - think what he could have said - remember, this is James Allen we're talking about here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
milly 0 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 For those of you fortunate enough not to receive the ITV coverage, James Allen came out with another classic...He described the 25Kg of lateral G-Force on corner 8 in Istanbul to be the same as if you "tied a labrador dog to your helmet..." <Holds head in his hands and beats it against a table> I think he has out-Murrayed Murray on this one. Oh and he also referred to Massa's win this weekend in Interlagos... Please, BBC, don't employ him Ha! Allen is so bad it's funny! It's nice to know us ITV viewers are not the only ones who have to suffer rubbish commentary though Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DOF_power 0 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 I belive he's done a mistake. A helmet + head + HANS weights ~7 kilos and the car pulls 4 to 5+ G around Turn 8. He forgot about the HANS and and calculated for only 4Gs max. But a Bridgestone engineer said last year (officlia FIA 2007 season review) with LH tire failure that "some of the cars were pulling over 5G (thru Turn 8). So the max/peak figure would be 35 kilos not 25 (witch would actually be the minimum) thru Turn 8. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Medilloni 6 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 OK, I've speed-read the jist of this thread to get up to speed. So, I just got back from thrashing the car round the local country lanes and, as James Allen says, tied a helmet to Fletcher (my Labrador) to assess the truth in his statement relating to G forces. Here's the results: Cornering forces (lateral G): On left handers he whined quite pathetically, slid across the carpet and splattered into the side window depositing large amounts of saliva on the headlining, but, on right handers he merely got a severe wobble on. I put this down to him being left handed pawed and has built his strength accordingly. Braking forces (Impaling G): Hopeless. Without the helmet, slid forward, head jambed between the front seats, slight strangulation apparent. With helmet? The added weight did just as James says, providing extra inertia through weight transfer - hit the back of the front seats with the helmet dragging his testicles back round his arse over his back (I presumed attaching them to this sensitive area would provide most vocal feedback, as like to concentrate on my driving) and overtook his body, the helmet arriving before Fletcher, thus proving that something heavier (in this case, Fletcher's testicles) will get there first. Fletcher, as ever, sits here as I type. He has a tear in the corner of his eye, but he says that's because he's proud to be part of the motorsport community, but politely suggests that James could be mistaken with his analogy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pabloh20 1 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 OK, I've speed-read the jist of this thread to get up to speed. So, I just got back from thrashing the car round the local country lanes and, as James Allen says, tied a helmet to Fletcher (my Labrador) to assess the truth in his statement relating to G forces. Here's the results: Cornering forces (lateral G): On left handers he whined quite pathetically, slid across the carpet and splattered into the side window depositing large amounts of saliva on the headlining, but, on right handers he merely got a severe wobble on. I put this down to him being left handed pawed and has built his strength accordingly. Braking forces (Impaling G): Hopeless. Without the helmet, slid forward, head jambed between the front seats, slight strangulation apparent. With helmet? The added weight did just as James says, providing extra inertia through weight transfer - hit the back of the front seats with the helmet dragging his testicles back round his arse over his back (I presumed attaching them to this sensitive area would provide most vocal feedback, as like to concentrate on my driving) and overtook his body, the helmet arriving before Fletcher, thus proving that something heavier (in this case, Fletcher's testicles) will get there first. Fletcher, as ever, sits here as I type. He has a tear in the corner of his eye, but he says that's because he's proud to be part of the motorsport community, but politely suggests that James could be mistaken with his analogy. Classic What made me laugh was that Allen was trying to use an analogy that was more 'accesible' to us mere mortals. So instead of saying 'it's like having a 25kg weight strapped to your head', he thought oh no, I need to make this more understandable to my public....................I need to pick something that everyone does, so as they will get a better undertsanding of the situation I am referring to..............................I know............................it's like having an adult labrador dog strapped to your head!!! He probably thought smugly to himself afterwards that we would understand that much more than a '25kg weight strapped to our heads'. Anyway, I've not been to work today. I started out, but by the time I found a labrador dog that was exactly 25kg to strap to my head whilst driving, it didn't seem worthwhile going in. Also the scratches I got from the first labrador dog that I found, which was only 22.3kg incidentally, were a bit unsightly, so I thought it was best to stay at home. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Medilloni 6 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 Classic What made me laugh was that Allen was trying to use an analogy that was more 'accesible' to us mere mortals. So instead of saying 'it's like having a 25kg weight strapped to your head', he thought oh no, I need to make this more understandable to my public....................I need to pick something that everyone does, so as they will get a better undertsanding of the situation I am referring to..............................I know............................it's like having an adult labrador dog strapped to your head!!! He probably thought smugly to himself afterwards that we would understand that much more than a '25kg weight strapped to our heads'. Anyway, I've not been to work today. I started out, but by the time I found a labrador dog that was exactly 25kg to strap to my head whilst driving, it didn't seem worthwhile going in. Also the scratches I got from the first labrador dog that I found, which was only 22.3kg incidentally, were a bit unsightly, so I thought it was best to stay at home. You and the Lab might have had more fun if you'd done it in 'hands free' mode Pabloh. Impale it on your knob Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pabloh20 1 Report post Posted May 12, 2008 You and the Lab might have had more fun if you'd done it in 'hands free' mode Pabloh. Impale it on your knob That was the 2nd labrador I found and neither me nor the labrador will ever be the same again.............. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
