98 replies to this topic

[Massa]

I'm starting this thread so that when we force Andrés and Craig to become moderators one of them can sticky this as their very first assignment.  How special we will all feel!

1. Vettel will always be the spoiled little brat who cried tears of self-pity after ruining his and Webber's race at Fuji, even as he takes his third consecutive title.

2. Red Bull will always be a shady company selling a product that is not very sustainable given that governments are going to start cracking down on it, even as they take their whatever consecutive title (have they won all three with Vettel?)

3. Michael Schumacher and Kimi Räiikönen won't win any races at all.  Subsequently, Schumacher will retire to DTM, a series as exciting as his press room interviews.

4. Felipe Massa will score a podium, the final of his storied career of horrendously eventful Canadian Grands Prix, as Ferrari make a big move in the drivers' market to replace Massa's tremendous heart with someone else's talent, leaving the driver with the greatest defensive game and the weakest mental game looking for a ride, hopefully not in NHRA drag racing, where the whole object is to keep one's car in a straight line.

5. Lewis Hamilton beats Jenson Button in the standings by year's end, but it will be tighter than those teal pants (leggings?) of his.

[BradSpeedMan]

Massa, on 14 January 2012 - 09:29 PM, said:

I'm starting this thread so that when we force Andrés and Craig to become moderators one of them can sticky this as their very first assignment.  How special we will all feel!

1. Vettel will always be the spoiled little brat who cried tears of self-pity after ruining his and Webber's race at Fuji, even as he takes his third consecutive title.

2. Red Bull will always be a shady company selling a product that is not very sustainable given that governments are going to start cracking down on it, even as they take their whatever consecutive title (have they won all three with Vettel?)

3. Michael Schumacher and Kimi Räiikönen won't win any races at all.  Subsequently, Schumacher will retire to DTM, a series as exciting as his press room interviews.

4. Felipe Massa will score a podium, the final of his storied career of horrendously eventful Canadian Grands Prix, as Ferrari make a big move in the drivers' market to replace Massa's tremendous heart with someone else's talent, leaving the driver with the greatest defensive game and the weakest mental game looking for a ride, hopefully not in NHRA drag racing, where the whole object is to keep one's car in a straight line.

5. Lewis Hamilton beats Jenson Button in the standings by year's end, but it will be tighter than those teal pants (leggings?) of his.

My pre-season prediction is you that you won't watch one single F1 race this year and will still be the expert on everything that happens on and off the track. You will castrate driver's who has the slightest hint of talent and when drivers try out Nascar and lose interest you will go mad. You will still try to convert us to NASCAR OVAL racing which will defintely not work and we will still slow the slightest minor interest in it.


Man, I'm goooood

[JHS18]

My 2012 season predictions?

1. More spambots will sign up.
2. Some new super duper moderators will be asigned.
3. There will be a massive duel to the death between the moderators and spam bots meaning that for a time, all other members can post about is juicy couture purses and high peformance engine chips.
4. Something will happen in F1 meaning that there's a massive argument between multiple members that mean several people storm off saying they'll never return to TF1 ever again.
5. Nobody will care.
6. Said members will return within two weeks.
7. END OF THE WORLD!!!!!!

[Massa]

BradSpeedMan, on 15 January 2012 - 07:33 AM, said:

My pre-season prediction is you that you won't watch one single F1 race this year and will still be the expert on everything that happens on and off the track. You will castrate driver's who has the slightest hint of talent and when drivers try out Nascar and lose interest you will go mad. You will still try to convert us to NASCAR OVAL racing which will defintely not work and we will still slow the slightest minor interest in it.


Man, I'm goooood

I bet you'll still be just as good at taking half-serious criticism of your favorite drivers, too.

[BradSpeedMan]

Massa, on 15 January 2012 - 04:00 PM, said:

I bet you'll still be just as good at taking half-serious criticism of your favorite drivers, too.

seriously though, I think you're one great guy, and I'm not gay

[Massa]

BradSpeedMan, on 15 January 2012 - 06:24 PM, said:

seriously though, I think you're one great guy, and I'm not gay

Glad you saw the light-heartedness of my comment, as I did yours.  Cheers.

By the way YOU SHOULD ALL WATCH OVAL RACING IT'S SO MUCH EXCITING.

[KoolMonkey]

I predict Lewis will get himself another pair of fugly pants and loafers, and will once again hook up and then get dumped by Nicole. He will again see the stewards office multiple times. And as for his bromance with Massa, well that will be over for sure after he again pulls off a "racing manuevre" that had no chance of succeeding.

Kimi will surprise, Alonso will maintain the status quo and performances these past 2 years. JV will popup in some journo's poor excuse for an article. Most probably out of context and unflattering, but he'll be there!

Kubica will get a new Doctor that will go on record as saying Bob will be ready to test a F1 car the following week. He'll then procede to injure himself again and his comeback will go backwards. Actually in all honestly I wonder if his new leg break is the real deal, or a way to buy more time from his existing injuries. Anywhoo.

Rubens will claim this is his year, he can still win and has the desire to do so... problem is he'll be saying this with Indycar in mind  

Massa will totally lose it by mid year and won't make Spa. Alsono ended up getting so good at the headgames, he didn't even need to actively participate in Massa's downfall, as Massa would pickup the mantle himself and worry and fret, and stress his career away thinking, thinking Alsono is doing him in. Brilliant really.

We won't hear from PQ Jr thank goodness. But we will hear from the press how Kimi is once again lacking in motivation, and how if Kubica was in the car instead they would be winning races. Come to think of it, we'll hear this from Boullier as well.

Bernie will put his foot in it. Mosley will bend over and let a foot be put in...

I hope Flavio comes back in all his bronzed thonged glory. I don't know how much he ever helped a F1 team develop a car, but he seemed to be a good motivator.

Part Two to follow in a few weeks time.

[JHS18]

KoolMonkey, on 16 January 2012 - 08:40 AM, said:

Kimi will surprise,

You mean surprisingly awful?

Kimi will be Sh#t, the car will be Sh#t, by half way he'll have quit in some Kimi rage and he'll be replaced by everyone's favourite female buy driver, Maria de Villota.

[KoolMonkey]

Haha, now I said surprise. You are left to associate that with a positive or negative thought.

[BradSpeedMan]

KoolMonkey, on 16 January 2012 - 12:57 PM, said:

Haha, now I said surprise. You are left to associate that with a positive or negative thought.

glad you did'nt take the bait as it was attempted provocation....

[Massa]

There will only be nineteen races.  Hell, maybe eighteen.  Bahrain and Austin don't look so good right now.  Guess how many permanent seats they'll have in Austin?  A whopping 9,000-12,000.  Everyone else gets to sit on dirt mounds...which is what the track will be anyway.

Eurasian Drivers' Championship
1. Sebastian Vettel (He will win at least fifteen races).
2. Mark Webber (He will win two).
3. Lewis Hamilton (He will win one).
4. Jenson Button (He will win the other one).
5. Fernando Alonso (He will be hindered by the car).
6. Nico Rosberg (Not because he will do anything well, just because no one else will either).
7. Felipe Massa (He will be frustrated).
8. Michael Schumacher (He will retire).
9. Kimi Räikkönen (OH MY GOD SIXTH-DEPUTY-LIEUTENANT-VICE-CHAMPION-ELECT WHAT A PERFORMANCE).
10. Paul di Resta (Oi 'ave a look 'ere Owa Paul drove that Midland lorry all the way up to tenth 'e's the best).
11. Nico Hülkenberg (I could switch him with di Resta.  Makes no difference to me.  They are both the future of Rosberg-caliber drivers getting credit for doing things in a car that's better than people can fathom a car that isn't a "traditional" one can be, and on a grid that lacks real works teams).
12. Kamui Kobayashi (Highs and lows).
13. Jean-Eric Vergne (He just looks like an F1 champion).
14. Daniel Ricciardo (He doesn't).
15. Sergio Pérez (Remember that time he finished eleventh in the amateur-level Skip Barber Series despite having huge backing for that level?  The champion that year was Marco Andretti of all people, who was also well-backed of course, but at least he did what he was supposed to.  Pérez' career should have been over after that year, but luckily merit wasn't a factor in his upbringing).
16. Heikki Kovalainen (He is the next Jenson Button.  He will rise again).
17. Tennesse Bar Association (driving for Williams).
NC. Trashy Breast Augmentation (driving for Caterham).
NC. Tactical Blocking Abilities (driving for Williams).
NC. Pedro de la Rosa (In an HRT older than he is).
NC. Timo Glock (I can never remember if I think he's good or not but the car certainly isn't).
NC. Totally Bigoted A**hole (driving for HRT).
NC. Charles Pic (Second-rate GP2 driver in a third-rate GP2 field joins a fourth-rate team. This can only end well).

Eurasian Constructors' Championship
1. Red Bull (In even more mind-numbing fashion than before).
2. McLaren (They'll be stronger because Hamilton will be, and still not a threat to win the title at all).
3. Ferrari (They're just a pathetically run team getting by on legacy.  They look lost and have been since they put Alonso in charge, proving that Felipe Massa was the greatest team leader in the history of F1).
4. Mercedes (Closer to the top three.  Won't get there with their current lineup, though.  Rosberg's a number two playing a number one and Schumacher's Ralf playing Michael.  Not working).
5. Lotus (There will be a huge gap in performance between Räikkönen and Grosjean.  Räikkönen will get results better than anyone could in that car, but he won't do anything to actually make the car/team better.  Story of his life).
6. Force India (I don't actually think Hülkenberg and di Resta are as good as people claim, simply because I am the anti-hype and some terrible angst-ridden cynical teenager who hates everything that you like).
7. STR (They were looking a lot more solid by the end of the year, and I think their lineup, though inexperienced, is a better one than before).
8. Sauber (You know I don't like Check-o Pérez so I won't even pretend I'm being fair in this one.  Still, no money, and a driver lineup that, while they may be quick, also has a propensity to be sooooo quick their races are over twenty laps before the checkered flag).
9. Caterham (I don't know who will drive for them, but I just wanted to take a risk and not have the same three teams at the very bottom).
10. Williams (The team is in complete disarray.  They'll get a total of one points finish all season; don't care who is driving).
NC. HRT F1 Team (They will make the grid and beat Marussia, just like the last two years, but everyone will still fault them as the worst team ever when, in reality, Marussia, despite employing my favorite driver Robert Wickens, are even further behind than HRT has ever been, and only get away with it because they put the Virgin lipstick on their pig of a team).
NC. Marussia (Renault guy has no involvement in the actual car design.  He's a consultant.  I saw it on the Internet so it must be true.  Plus Charles Pic sucks).

[Massa]

All that said, as a disclaimer, there are many athletes in all sorts of sports who have much more significant problems (drugs, violence, gangs, etc). than F1 drivers taking themselves a bit too seriously for my liking and coming across as entitled.  They aren't bad people and I really don't hate them as much as I want you to think I do.

As ever, I'll watch Montréal, and as ever, I expect to enjoy it.  Last few years it's been a great race.  Other races I evaluate week-to-week.  If it looks like the winner is in doubt and there's a chance someone other than the pole-sitter is going to win, I'll try to watch, if not, I don't.  I'm hoping F1 will have a good season because I don't like not liking F1, but I'm not too confident we'll be seeing much excitement until we get the next big regulations shake-up.

[JHS18]

BradSpeedMan, on 16 January 2012 - 01:08 PM, said:

glad you did'nt take the bait as it was attempted provocation....

I see what Eric means, whether he was joking or not...

[Massa]

I was joking, and I've always figured Brad usually is too.  He just likes to have a little fun with the "haters" of guys like Räikkönen and Vettel, as he should.

[BradSpeedMan]

JHS18, on 16 January 2012 - 06:54 PM, said:

I see what Eric means, whether he was joking or not...

I saw the true nature of your provocation with your previous post. It was too deliberate, too harsh, you sounded like an amateur... Read your post again and you'll see (hopefully). It's like a 5-year old who just discovered the word Sh#t, too blatently coarse.

You need to tone it down, be like Eric with a bit of class, style and humour. I guess you'll get there in 10 years.

[BradSpeedMan]

Massa, on 16 January 2012 - 06:46 PM, said:

9. Kimi Räikkönen (OH MY GOD SIXTH-DEPUTY-LIEUTENANT-VICE-CHAMPION-ELECT WHAT A PERFORMANCE).

perfect example of what I just said above JHS. Although he dishes my fav driver, I feel obliged to smile

actually his whole post was classic...lovely stuff

Edited by BradSpeedMan, 16 January 2012 - 07:51 PM.

[JHS18]

BradSpeedMan, on 16 January 2012 - 07:31 PM, said:

I saw the true nature of your provocation with your previous post. It was too deliberate, too harsh, you sounded like an amateur... Read your post again and you'll see (hopefully). It's like a 5-year old who just discovered the word Sh#t, too blatently coarse.

You need to tone it down, be like Eric with a bit of class, style and humour. I guess you'll get there in 10 years.

Does it not dawn on you that in some corners of the world, Kimi Raikkonen isn't going to be valued as highly as you clearly value him?

That doesn't mean they're trying to annoy you or whatever, it means they don't like him or don't think he'll do very well - and they're entitled to that opinion. They don't have to justify it through being funny. It's an opinion.

You should stop being so butt-hurt every time someone says anything remotely negative about your favourite little driver, and realise F1 is just a sport. Stop taking it so seriously and personal. If it doesn't bother darling Kimi, then it sure as heck shouldn't bother you.

But hey, I guess you'll get there in 10 years.

[Insider]

Massa, on 14 January 2012 - 09:29 PM, said:

I'm starting this thread so that when we force Andrés and Craig to become moderators one of them can sticky this as their very first assignment.  How special we will all feel!

1. Vettel will always be the spoiled little brat who cried tears of self-pity after ruining his and Webber's race at Fuji, even as he takes his third consecutive title.

He won't. I think this is Button's double year.  I like the guy a lot but he has surprised me.  he's a lot better than I ever thought he might be and he's getting better every year.  RBR will struggle to give SV the car for the job.

2. Red Bull will always be a shady company selling a product that is not very sustainable given that governments are going to start cracking down on it, even as they take their whatever consecutive title (have they won all three with Vettel?)

RBR is an F1 team in this context and the best I have ever seen develop from a standing start. I don't see 2012 as a golden year for them.

3. Michael Schumacher and Kimi Räiikönen won't win any races at all.  Subsequently, Schumacher will retire to DTM, a series as exciting as his press room interviews.

Highly likely

4. Felipe Massa will score a podium, the final of his storied career of horrendously eventful Canadian Grands Prix, as Ferrari make a big move in the drivers' market to replace Massa's tremendous heart with someone else's talent, leaving the driver with the greatest defensive game and the weakest mental game looking for a ride, hopefully not in NHRA drag racing, where the whole object is to keep one's car in a straight line.

Never been the same since he nearly lost his eye. neither would you be.

5. Lewis Hamilton beats Jenson Button in the standings by year's end, but it will be tighter than those teal pants (leggings?) of his.

I really don't think so. He needs a team change to shine again IMHO. It will probably be forced on him if he drives like he did in 2011.

[Insider]

Massa, on 14 January 2012 - 09:29 PM, said:

I'm starting this thread so that when we force Andrés and Craig to become moderators one of them can sticky this as their very first assignment.  How special we will all feel!

1. Vettel will always be the spoiled little brat who cried tears of self-pity after ruining his and Webber's race at Fuji, even as he takes his third consecutive title.

He won't. I think this is Button's double year.  I like the guy a lot but he has surprised me.  he's a lot better than I ever thought he might be and he's getting better every year.  RBR will struggle to give SV the car for the job.

2. Red Bull will always be a shady company selling a product that is not very sustainable given that governments are going to start cracking down on it, even as they take their whatever consecutive title (have they won all three with Vettel?)

RBR is an F1 team in this context and the best I have ever seen develop from a standing start. I don't see 2012 as a golden year for them.

3. Michael Schumacher and Kimi Räiikönen won't win any races at all.  Subsequently, Schumacher will retire to DTM, a series as exciting as his press room interviews.

Highly likely

4. Felipe Massa will score a podium, the final of his storied career of horrendously eventful Canadian Grands Prix, as Ferrari make a big move in the drivers' market to replace Massa's tremendous heart with someone else's talent, leaving the driver with the greatest defensive game and the weakest mental game looking for a ride, hopefully not in NHRA drag racing, where the whole object is to keep one's car in a straight line.

Never been the same since he nearly lost his eye. neither would you be.

5. Lewis Hamilton beats Jenson Button in the standings by year's end, but it will be tighter than those teal pants (leggings?) of his.

I really don't think so. He needs a team change to shine again IMHO. It will probably be forced on him if he drives like he did in 2011.

[Insider]

Double post - my bad

EDIT: Spelt 'post wrong'.

Edited by Insider, 17 January 2012 - 11:12 PM.

[HandyNZL]

Come now....Red Bull had all those magnificent years as Jaguar to perfect things...

[HandyNZL]

Picking up on your idea of Hamilton losing his seat at McLaren for 2013, who would you replace him with?

Not exactly all that many people out there that Macca would even contemplate....

[BradSpeedMan]

JHS18, on 17 January 2012 - 03:45 PM, said:

Does it not dawn on you that in some corners of the world, Kimi Raikkonen isn't going to be valued as highly as you clearly value him?

That doesn't mean they're trying to annoy you or whatever, it means they don't like him or don't think he'll do very well - and they're entitled to that opinion. They don't have to justify it through being funny. It's an opinion.

You should stop being so butt-hurt every time someone says anything remotely negative about your favourite little driver, and realise F1 is just a sport. Stop taking it so seriously and personal. If it doesn't bother darling Kimi, then it sure as heck shouldn't bother you.

But hey, I guess you'll get there in 10 years.

The fact that you deliberately tried to bait Kimi fans is the issue, not you having an opinion...

[Insider]

HandyNZL, on 17 January 2012 - 11:34 PM, said:

Picking up on your idea of Hamilton losing his seat at McLaren for 2013, who would you replace him with?

Not exactly all that many people out there that Macca would even contemplate....

For me, it's a reasonable simple equation.  When JB won the WDC in 2009 he was on a high. He carried that into the Woking shop in 2010 but Lewis was still king of the heap and it Button took time to adjust. Lewis had a goodish 2010 despite driving a pig and he started sniffing around.  In the meantime, Button took the time to build a great team around him and though the team farted around in the early part of the season in 2011, it was Button who pushed forward and Lewis was unsettled by that. He lost his mojo and he lost his focus.  Button is Macca's 'go to' guy now, totally reliable and solid whereas, Hamilton has a lot to do to remove Jenson from his perch in the team. I very much doubt he will return to the consistent form he showed pre-Button at McLaren next year, if ever.  He needs to be feted and adored. He is a No.1 driver and in my humble opinion, his only way back is to move on.

[Argento Reloaded]

I think the 2012 wc will be in some point like 2010: i expect a much close competition between RB, Ferrari and McLaren. MB and Renault I think will be closer too but not in "wining shape" yet.

[HandyNZL]

Are you a politician? Because that in no way answered the question?!?!?

The question was, if not Hamilton and Button, then Button and who?

[Insider]

HandyNZL, on 18 January 2012 - 07:35 PM, said:

Are you a politician? Because that in no way answered the question?!?!?

The question was, if not Hamilton and Button, then Button and who?

Sorry! If Vettel is available, he's the hot choice [I can see a VW buy out of RBR inside two years], If not, Paul Di Resta or even the Hulk.

Edited by Insider, 18 January 2012 - 07:49 PM.

[JHS18]

BradSpeedMan, on 18 January 2012 - 07:43 AM, said:

The fact that you deliberately tried to bait Kimi fans is the issue, not you having an opinion...

You just need to stop reading so much into what people post, and just accept F1 for what it is. Just a meaningless sport.

I'll leave it at that.

[Insider]

JHS18, on 18 January 2012 - 08:01 PM, said:

You just need to stop reading so much into what people post, and just accept F1 for what it is. Just a meaningless sport.

I'll leave it at that.

If you believe it is a meaningless sport, perhaps you should post elsewhere. This is a forum where we discuss a sport we love, good or bad. Your cynical tongue is wasted here. Try politics or softball.

[Massa]

Can we all just be nice and respectful and considerate and loving and wonderful little disciples of this beautiful forum in the glorious thread that I put no real effort into creating?  Thanks.