430 replies to this topic

[The Rumble Strip]

It's an old one then.

I only heard it for the first time the other week.

[Kopite Girl]

A teacher asks 10 year old Chloe what comes after "69".

"Well miss, my mum said a good shower and plenty of Listerine usually does the trick."

[mikathegreat2]

Girl Racer, on Jan 31 2009, 11:44 PM, said:

A teacher asks 10 year old Chloe what comes after "69".

"Well miss, my mum said a good shower and plenty of Listerine usually does the trick."

  

[medilloni]

There are these three guys in a desert dying of starvation and dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.

"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.

"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"

"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.

"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! HUGHIE.  ROWF."

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.

"What do you want for some water?"

"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die soon. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.

"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."

"Then lay back and close your eyes again."

This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."

"Eyes closed," he says.

Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.

"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"


********************************************************************************
**********************************************

Quote

Dear Mr. Advice,

I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don't know them. I try to stay awake and watch for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?

Ahh.  Perspective  

Edited by medilloni, 05 February 2009 - 09:16 AM.

[Rainmaster]

  

Love those Meds!

[medilloni]

Rainmaster, on Feb 5 2009, 10:50 AM, said:

  
Love those Meds!

Ta, I'm still giggling over the last one - it fits the sort of thing a friend of mine would do down to the, er, tee.      Anyway, there's more......

Quote

An 18 year-old girl tells her Mum that she has missed her period for two months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the Chemist and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you?  I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.  Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:

'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem.  I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa and a 2,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a 4,000,000 bank account.  If twins, they will receive a factory and 2,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not really sure what to do. What do you suggest?'

At this point, the girl’s father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him,

'You shag her again.'

[freaky2]

Hahahahahahah

Very funny Meds

[medilloni]

The American Government funded a study to see why the head of a man's penis
was larger than the shaft.
After 1 year and $180,000 they concluded that the reason that the head was
larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the US published the study, the French decided to do  their own study.
After $250,000 and 3 years of research, they concluded that the reason the
head was larger than the shaft was to give the woman more pleasure during sex.

Australians, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted their  own study.
After 2 weeks, a cost of around $75.46, and 2 cases of beer, they concluded that
it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and hitting himself in the forehead.

[medilloni]

Bob, a handsome dude, walks into a sports bar late one evening.
He sits down next to a blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV.

The 10:00 PM news is coming on. The news crew is covering a story
of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looks at Bob and asks, 'Do you think he'll jump?'

Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'

The blonde replies, 'Well, I bet he won't.'

Bob places a $20 bill on the bar and says, 'You're on!'

Just as the blonde places her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge
does a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.

The blonde is very upset, but willingly hands her $20 to Bob,
saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your money.'

Bob replies, 'I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM
news, so I knew he would jump.'

The blonde replies, 'I did, too, but I didn't think he'd do it again.'

[pabloh20]

Excellent!

[medilloni]

Giuseppe is in this country for only 6 months.

He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...
it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.
Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.

  
Giuseppe seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time.
He asks Sophia to dance and
as they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'

  
Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Giuseppe, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
Giuseppe answers,'I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes.  How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance,
and after a few minutes he asks,' Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?'

  
Rosa answers, 'Yes, Giuseppe, I do, but how do you know that?'
He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new
$300 Boccelli leather shoes.  How do you like them?'  

  
Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played,
Giuseppe asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns red.
He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart,
please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!

  
Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Giuseppe, I wear no panties tonight.'

Giuseppe gasps,
'Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in my

$300 Boccelli leather shoes!'

  

[medilloni]

A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing only a glass jar on his penis.
Woman asks, 'What are you?'
He says, 'I'm a Fireman'
'But you're only wearing a glass jar?', says the woman.

'Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob and I'll come as fast as I can!



That's it, I'm off for me dinner - I got them from www.office-humour.co.uk , enjoy

[LabradoRacer]

medilloni, on Feb 5 2009, 01:05 PM, said:

Giuseppe is in this country for only 6 months.

He walks to work 20 blocks every day and passes a shoe store.

Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Boccelli leather shoes.

He wants those shoes so much...
it's all he can think about.
After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchases them.
Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement.


Giuseppe seizes this opportunity to wear his new Boccelli leather shoes for the first time.
He asks Sophia to dance and
as they dance he asks her, 'Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?'


Startled, Sophia replies, 'Yes, Giuseppe, I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?'
Giuseppe answers,'I see the reflection in my new $300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'

Next he asks Rosa to dance,
and after a few minutes he asks,' Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?'


Rosa answers, 'Yes, Giuseppe, I do, but how do you know that?'
He replies, 'I see the reflection in my new
$300 Boccelli leather shoes. How do you like them?'


Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played,
Giuseppe asks Carmela to dance.

Midway through the dance his face turns red.
He states, 'Carmela, be stilla my heart,
please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight, please, please, tella me this true!


Carmela smiles coyly and answers, 'Yes Giuseppe, I wear no panties tonight.'

Giuseppe gasps,
'Thanka God ... I thought I had a CRACK in my

$300 Boccelli leather shoes!'

  

         LMAO

[medilloni]

The train was quite crowded, a U.S.Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a poodle belonging to a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'

The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular, 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'

She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word. He just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, 'I'm horrified. Someone must defend my honour and put this American in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.

[medilloni]

Two Irish hunters get a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bag six. As Paddy and Mick start loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot says, "The plane can only take four of those." The two lads object strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gives in and all six are loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane can't handle the load and down it goes and crashes in the middle of nowhere. A few moments later, climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asks Mick, "Any idea where we are?" "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year," says Mick.

[medilloni]

An irishman in American spots a sandwich on the ground with wires sticking out it ..

He phones the bomb squad and tells them about the sandwich with wires.sticking out of it..

The bomb expert asks "is it ticking" no says the irishman , "it's beef"

[medilloni]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.

The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

'What does it look like?' she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, It's square and it has your picture on it.

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.

'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, ' Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.

[medilloni]

The Lady Reporter: 'Good evening, sir. I am here to collect information on the possible sources of Mad Cow Disease. Can you offer any reason for this disease?'

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said: 'Do you know that a bull mounts a cow only once a year?'

Reporter (obviously embarrassed): 'Well, sir, that's a new piece of information, but what's the relation between this phenomenon and Mad Cow Disease?'

Farmer: 'And, madam, do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?'

Reporter: 'Sir, this is really valuable information, but what about getting to the point?'

Farmer: 'I am getting to the point, madam. Just imagine, if I was playing with your tits twice a day and only screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?'

[medilloni]

And last of all, one for Martin Brundle:

A new EU initiative has decided that you are not to use the term Pikey any longer.
You must use the phrase, 'Caravan Utilising Nomadic Travellers’.

[medilloni]

It's Friday, and time we learned to speak proper English, like.     Have a great weekend one and all........



Extracts of letters written to councils in the UK  (in the UK it's sometimes possible to rent a house or apartment from the local council - they are responsible for maintenance, in case you were wondering...)

1.. It's the dogs' mess that I find hard to swallow

2.. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

3.. I wish to complain that my father burnt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage..

4.. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

5.. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.

6..My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

7.. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

8.. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path.  My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.

9.. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

10.. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are Plain filthy.

11.. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

12.. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

13..Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

14..Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.

15..I want to complain about the farmer across the road..  Every morning at 6am his c0ck wakes me up and it's now getting too much For me.

16..The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

17..Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it.

18..I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

19..Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

20.. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

21.. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2. [a tv channel]

22.. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

23..He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

Edited by medilloni, 13 February 2009 - 02:21 PM.

[medilloni]

Bah, I was being tight, have another.........

Quote

For those that don't  know him, Major General Peter Cosgrove is an  'Australian treasure!'

General Cosgrove was  interviewed on the radio recently.  
You'll love his reply to  the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children.  Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you gotta love  this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It  is a portion of an ABC interview between a female  broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a  Boy Scout Troop visiting his military  headquarters.
  
FEMALE  INTERVIEWER:
So,  General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these  young boys when they visit your base?


GENERAL  COSGROVE:
We're  going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and  shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER:  
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't  it?


GENERAL  COSGROVE:
I don't  see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle  range.


FEMALE  INTERVIEWER:
Don't  you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be  teaching children?


GENERAL  COSGROVE:
I don't  see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline  before they even touch a  firearm.
  
FEMALE  INTERVIEWER:
But  you're equipping them to become violent  killers.


GENERAL  COSGROVE:
Well,  Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not  one, are you?
The radio went silent and the interview  ended.

[Rainmaster]

  

Classic.

[mikathegreat2]

#2  

[medilloni]

Well bugger me with a yard brush, it's Friday again, time for yer medicine  

WARNING:  It's a long one (WAHEY!) and I only like jokes like these 'cos they're so close to the effing truth.....................

Quote

Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the
meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir, you'll have to read this."

Nelson (reading aloud): "' England expects every person to do his or
her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious
persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledygook is this, Hardy?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, sir. We're an equal opportunity employer
now. We had the devil's own job getting ' England ' past the censors,
lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated
smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the
main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the
Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it
..................... Full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this
stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in
history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's
nest please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No
harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They
won't let anyone up there until a proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck, Sir."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a
barrier-free environment for the differently-abled."

Nelson: "Differently-abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse
even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral
by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under represented in
the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't
let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want
anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such rubbish.  Break out the cannons and
tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being
charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There're a couple of
legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now.
According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this
stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity co-coordinator hear you
saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your
King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age.
Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - health and safety. Whatever happened to rum,
sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on
corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case, kiss me. Hardy"

[medilloni]

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

'If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for.'  

[medilloni]

Quote

A middle aged Irish woman went to her doctor to ask advice in
reviving her husband's libido.

'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.

'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'

'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. "Drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it... Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'

When she called the doctor he asked how it went and she exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!
T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'

'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.

'Well, I did as you said and slipped it in his coffee and after just a few sips he jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!  With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'

'Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good?'

'Feckin jaysus!!  'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years!............

But sure as I'm sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!'

[medilloni]

Think these might be on the site somewhere, but I can't be arsed searching and it's time to spread the lurve........  Happy Nearly Easter!


Commentators 'oops' moments

1.Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her
    mother.'

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'  

3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'  

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice.. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
    Oxford crew..'

5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god !! What have I just said??'

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!  

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'

11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'  

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.

[icemanrules!]

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : what which part ? Whole body born in punjab!!

[mikathegreat2]

Where've you been meds?? Funny jokes, I also remember Ricard Branson saying something after the Oz GP thst's quite funny, "It was a great race & being in the company of these Virgin girls"   !

[medilloni]

mikathegreat2, on Apr 8 2009, 04:14 PM, said:

Where've you been meds?? Funny jokes, I also remember Ricard Branson saying something after the Oz GP thst's quite funny, "It was a great race & being in the company of these Virgin girls"   !

I've not been away Mika, just posting in the intelligentsia threads, but only 'cos I thought it had something to do with genitals.   

I'm finding myself drawn to the tech forums more these days, it's good to catch up with the new rules - dammit, times like this is when Bajo and Mike (Autumnpuma) et al are sadly missed.....

Yeah, I liked Branson's, "I'm just a lucky barsteward" comment, because he isn't, he's an intelligent bloke and works his nuts off.