Tf1 Race Reports

[maure 1]

I propose dictionary man. Have not seen him in a long time and his prose is easy to ignore.

Well folks, when I first started posting here a few years back, some members were taking it upon themselves to appoint a person to write a race report. This was a good-natured thing that was approached with a 'what the hell' sort of attitude and I'd like to revive it.

Here's my simple plan: Someone would write a race report a few days after a GP. This doesn't have to be professional, insightful, funny, ground-breaking or even spelt correctly. Sure, if it were any of those things I'd love it, but really just write down your thoughts, wrong and biased as they may be (see what I did there?) for us all to read. I remember that Cav wrote some pretty damned good reports.

Anyway, that person then 'taps' someone else to write the next GP. And so it goes.

So, are we game for it?

EDIT#1: An alternate idea would be to assign a driver to a forum member and then, after the GP, I would start a thread where we all post what happened to our driver. No rules, post whatever...get as in-depth or as clever as you want.

EDIT#2: Okay, I'm going to put the alternate idea of drivers aside. I'm going ahead with the race report idea and if the 'tapped' person feels like focusing their report on one driver, so be it. Here's the list of willing victims members:

THE LIST:

Quiet One BLAHRAIN

Kopite Girl

Autumnpuma

Persevere

Argento Reloaded (His report to be written using ARGENTO's AWARDS )

Cavallino

Freakazoid

Grabthaw the Hammerslayer

JHS

Nivola

aussief1 AUSTRALIA

Freaky2

Monza Gorilla

Cool. Whatever amuses the crowd.

Other than that, I disagree with both you and Fenman, and I think what you both say is a common mistake among F1 followers:

1) Not all levels of driver (or team or whatever) support are the same. You can support a driver without being a fanatical fundamentalist over that driver or against some other.

2) The worst kind (the most fanatical) are not that common in this forum, and "the worst kind" is always a relative concept, anyways. You might see yourself surrounded by "fanatical" Alonso supporters. I saw a lot of "fanatical" Hamilton supporters. We still have a couple of "fanatical" Button supporters and, most surprisingly, quite a bunch of "fanatical" Kimi supporters

3) "I am no fan of any driver" is either a supremely hypocritical (?) statement or a confession of lack of interest on the complexities of F1. In Fenman's case, it is obviosuly the former. The guy starts with that phrase and then starts spewing a pseudo theory based on his deep comprehension of Alonso's thought processes. Unless he is Nando's psychoanalist, all he wrote is a bunch of subjective opinions, and highly biased against the guy as iti is fairly obvious. There is nothing wrong with that. What p**ses me off is the fact that he starts by saying "I am no fan". bulls##t. If anything, he is an anti Alonso fan, and t hat's being a fan as much as I am an Alonso fan or you are a Kimi fan.

4) Being a fan of a driver is not bad per se. All the cars, the speed, the tracks, the strategies are incredibly complex and entertaining, but the drivers' personalities are as much fun, if not more so. Today I was talking about tennis and the many personalities that I've enjoyed. Guys like Lendl, McEnroe, Noah, Sampras, Chang, Kuerten, Borg, Connors...they were not just extremely talented, but also with very different personalities and quirks and that made them even more enjoyable! Why miss that part of the drama? It plays a huge part!

5) I understand that there is a fine line between "supporting a driver" and being an insufferable, irrational worshipper. But with some sense of objectivity and a bit of patience you can enjoy the human side without letting minor trolls and such to upset you too much.

Quite true.

I managed to dig up my old race report And in the process had to go through some rather embarrassing old posts of mine - I am sorry everyone, how did you ever put up with me

Funny.

It would perhaps work if people voted to a short list of 20 people plus maybe 5 reserves on who we want to write the report. That way, there's no bitching, democracy prevails and we can take the mickey out of whomever is chosen. It works?

Let's poll the matter... or, better yet, let's poll on whether a pool is needed.

[AleHop 0]

The guy starts with that phrase and then starts spewing a pseudo theory based on his deep comprehension of Alonso's thought processes. Unless he is Nando's psychoanalist, all he wrote is a bunch of subjective opinions, and highly biased against the guy as iti is fairly obvious. There is nothing wrong with that. What p**ses me off is the fact that he starts by saying "I am no fan". bulls##t. If anything, he is an anti Alonso fan, and t hat's being a fan as much as I am an Alonso fan or you are a Kimi fan.

That was pure gold.

[Autumnpuma 0]

I propose dictionary man. Have not seen him in a long time and his prose is easy to ignore.

Let's poll the matter... or, better yet, let's poll on whether a pool is needed.

Let's not. I hate polls and pools. The former because most people's opinions suck and the latter because, well, it's rather like bathing in people soup.

[HandyNZL 1]

I'm passing the torch before it burns my hands....to......

She's a very kinky girl

The kind you don't take home to mother

She will never let your spirits down

Once you get her off the street, ow girl

She likes the boys in the band

She says that I'm her all-time favorite

When I make my move to her room it's the right time

She's never hard to please

That girl is pretty wild now

The girl's a super freak

The kind of girl you read about

In new-wave magazine

That girl is pretty kinky

The girl's a super freak

I really love to taste her

Every time we meet

She's all right, she's all right

That girl's all right with me, yeah

She's a super freak, super freak

She's super-freaky, yow

Super freak, super freak

She's a very special girl

The kind of girl you want to know

>From her head down to her toenails

Down to her feet, yeah

And she'll wait for me at backstage with her girlfriends

In a limousine

Going back in Chinatown

Three's not a crowd to her, she says

"Room 714, I'll be waiting"

When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles

It's such a freaky scene

Temptations sing!

Ohhhhh

Super freak, super freak

That girl's a super freak

Ohhhhh

She's a very kinky girl

The kind you don't take home to mother

She will never let your spirits down

Once you get her off the street, ow girl

Blow, Danny!

Y'all worked out who yet?

[Kopite Girl 0]

Er. Its Chris isn't it? No no. Dribbler. God I'm clever.

[Autumnpuma 0]

Alright! Back on European soil for Spain....so...who's the next victim, Tommy?

[Autumnpuma 0]

An idea was proposed to me via the PM system. Dueling reports. Two people, one race. Intriguing, to be sure, but I have to say this conflicts with one of the two rules for this thingamajigger. One person, one race. The other rule being: you gotta pick the next person to report.

Of course it's a somewhat free world and forum, so one may do whatever one chooses to do. Speaking of choices, c'mon, Tommy, choose someone!

Oh, and if anyone wants to participate, lemme know either here or in a PM and I'll add you to the master list located in the first post of this here thread.

[Schumikonen 2]

I'm passing the torch before it burns my hands....to......

She's a very kinky girl

The kind you don't take home to mother

She will never let your spirits down

Once you get her off the street, ow girl

She likes the boys in the band

She says that I'm her all-time favorite

When I make my move to her room it's the right time

She's never hard to please

That girl is pretty wild now

The girl's a super freak

The kind of girl you read about

In new-wave magazine

That girl is pretty kinky

The girl's a super freak

I really love to taste her

Every time we meet

She's all right, she's all right

That girl's all right with me, yeah

She's a super freak, super freak

She's super-freaky, yow

Super freak, super freak

She's a very special girl

The kind of girl you want to know

>From her head down to her toenails

Down to her feet, yeah

And she'll wait for me at backstage with her girlfriends

In a limousine

Going back in Chinatown

Three's not a crowd to her, she says

"Room 714, I'll be waiting"

When I get there she's got incense, wine and candles

It's such a freaky scene

Temptations sing!

Ohhhhh

Super freak, super freak

That girl's a super freak

Ohhhhh

She's a very kinky girl

The kind you don't take home to mother

She will never let your spirits down

Once you get her off the street, ow girl

Blow, Danny!

Y'all worked out who yet?

I am so glad I changed my nick following Maure's advise

[Schumikonen 2]

Alright! Back on European soil for Spain....so...who's the next victim, Tommy?

Now that you ask, I think it would be interesting if you have the next report, so Mike I pass the crown to you and you'll be the next King of Spain

[Kopite Girl 0]

Woohoo. Go Mikey!

[maure 1]

This is taken from a certain fenman reponding in an article in James Allen's blog. Now we need guys like him to write Race Reports, it would be an asolute pleasure reading it.

"I am not a ‘fan’ of anyone, fans are ridiculous looking creatures, blinkered and easily led by the nose. Look at them, standing in the rain, dressed the same, waiting to get their piece of overpriced, merchandised tat scribbled on … "

oh, what the hell, here's his full response, read and enjoy[/b]

I am not a ‘fan’ of anyone, fans are ridiculous looking creatures, blinkered and easily led by the nose. Look at them, standing in the rain, dressed the same, waiting to get their piece of overpriced, merchandised tat scribbled on. Like I say, he had form going in to this, at Renault, the card on Alonso said great driver when he’s winning, fragile and paranoid when the wheels fall off. When push came to shove, that psychological weakness was always going to be his undoing. F1 is a big boys sport, there is unequal pressure applied from all directions, it’s how you absorb that pressure, and it’s how you react to that pressure. It is pointless to complain about the travails endured, or the perceived inequalities, real or imaginary, that is the nature of the beast, that is real life, life at the very sharp end. He notoriously retreated within himself and within his entourage, skulking and sulking back over at the Renault motorhome, an echo chamber, exacerbating and reinforcing his persecution complex. Rather than push back, and overcome, he withdrew, that more than any other contributory factor is what did for him. Waving his fist (at who, for why) coming down the Indy straight told everyone everything they needed to know about who was where in the headgames. Who was coping and who was cracking. F1 is also never that complicated, it generally is exactly what it is. Two men started a new job, both wanted a team built around them, they went head to head, to make it their era. For a poker player like Alonso to still not realise it’s not the cards, it’s how you play them is baffling. No-one ever gave-away anything worth having, he was up against a ruthless competitor, if he wanted it, he should have fought harder and fought smarter. Reflect and deflect that pressure, crack a rookie, win the team. He didn’t or couldn’t, that’s the way it goes sometimes … if after all the intervening time and distance, he still can’t acknowledge that, if he hasn’t learned anything, if in snide and snarky press comments, he still clings to a personal and conveniently untellable re-spinning of events, then you need to be real concerned, real concerned, how he will deal with the politicking and factionalism of Ferrari. Woking was a cakewalk compared to Maranello.

Oh yeah, sistematic insulting Alonso like this and more so after declaring himself above and beyond subjectivity makes me laugh hard and loud... and no less you, Brad, that holds that piece of crap to standards outside our humble skills.

The amount of selfdeceit in this world of F1 is the envy of other sports.

[Persevere 0]

Now that you ask, I think it would be interesting if you have the next report, so Mike I pass the crown to you and you'll be the next King of Spain

Mike: given the quality of posting in the last few days what's the chance you could begin your thread immediately? Perhaps you could start with a little background material; say a detailed history of Spain. By the first week of May you should be up to the post-war years of F1 and Fangio's championships.

[Quiet One 15]

Gotcha, Mike! You're in for a real treat! It's gonna be even tougher than the Bahrain GP to report!

Here are some free hints:

1) Spaniards don't say 'olé' every two words.

2) Mexico is not part of Spain. So, 'Taco Bell' and references to chihuahuas won't be understood by most Spaniards.

3) Albeit part of a single country, each Spanish region is very sensitive about their personality, culture and tradition. You should not mock them. For example: Catalunya, and Barcelona in particular, consider themselves quite cosmopolite and very cultured. Their language is the Catalá (*) (or Catalán, in Spanish).

4) And never, never, ever mention the 1898 war!! Nor the Armada Invencible while at it.

(*) Which is actually like speaking in Spanish, minus the final letter as you can see, but they think that makes them very different.

[Schumikonen 2]

Gotcha, Mike! You're in for a real treat! It's gonna be even tougher than the Bahrain GP to report!

Here are some free hints:

1) Spaniards don't say 'olé' every two words.

2) Mexico is not part of Spain. So, 'Taco Bell' and references to chihuahuas won't be understood by most Spaniards.

3) Albeit part of a single country, each Spanish region is very sensitive about their personality, culture and tradition. You should not mock them. For example: Catalunya, and Barcelona in particular, consider themselves quite cosmopolite and very cultured. Their language is the Catalá (*) (or Catalán, in Spanish).

4) And never, never, ever mention the 1898 war!! Nor the Armada Invencible while at it.

(*) Which is actually like speaking in Spanish, minus the final letter as you can see, but they think that makes them very different.

Very good advise, when I started reading this post I thought you were going to talk about how boring races can be at Barcelona, but I am expecting an interesting race this year even if it is not packed with action, I think just the suspense about how the standinds are going to be at the end are enough entertainment for me.

[maure 1]

4) And never, never, ever mention the 1898 war!!

I say do. Look into the 1898 hispano-american war and be ready to be stunned. The chapter on what the Americans did on the Philippines' does not fall short of Nazi's doings.

Nor the Armada Invencible while at it.

Again, I say do. Then read on Vernon's brutal failure against a hadnful of Spaniards:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cartagena_de_Indias

http://www.cartagenainfo.net/glenndavid/blasdelezo.html

I was very surprised when bigotry was unleashed on the Spaniards after Hamilton cried into the scence. So I read some "western" history to see where the British ferociously inferiority complex came from. It's called Edward Vernon and how his brutal defeat against a handful of Spaniards was mandated by the English king to be erased from history records. So the "Armade Invecible" remains a thing to mock (despite weather being the key factor) while Vernon's much larger, and lesser only to Normandy's D-day naval size, is suposed to mean nothing (the Spaniards kicked British arse all the way).

Ah well, that's F1 and the latent bigotries of some, like the late Murray, who have little problem naively confessiing to his nationalistic preferences as well as his phobia towards Spain.

I, for one, must give thanks because "western" history was never of too much interest to me. These past couple of years have been quite enlightening regarding British history and its hypocritical acknowledgment of shortcomings... not to mention their well founded fears. If history is to repeat itself, the Spaniards are going to walk all over you, dear friends.

[Persevere 0]

(There is nothing really quite the equal to Maure at full throttle on the Forum. Like the sight of a lovely young woman on a warm summer day or a V12 at full song, it's impossible not to feel a slight shiver of pleasure in his musings. Excellent.)

[Quiet One 15]

(There is nothing really quite the equal to Maure at full throttle on the Forum. Like the sight of a lovely young woman on a warm summer day or a V12 at full song, it's impossible not to feel a slight shiver of pleasure in his musings. Excellent.)

@David: Even if we never saw a picture of Maure, I highly doubt he looks anything like a "lovely young woman on a warm summer day". In fact, I hope Maure never posts a pic of himself because I am so used to picture him as Mr.Burns I am sure that no matter how he looks it will be kind of a letdown.

@Maure: I can't read those links at work, but will certainly check them after work. Anyways, as usual, my comments were tongue-in-cheek and didn't wanted to get involved in a history argument about both the Armada Invencible's tragic fate and the preposterous 1898 "war" (back in those days I think it would have been called "incident")

As a fan of history studies myself, however, I invite you to open a thread to discuss these things (the Tf1 report is not a good place...ruins the "atmosphere" to discuss serious and probably controversial matters as this is a place to encourage friendship and fun among members from every nation)

[Autumnpuma 0]

Now that you ask, I think it would be interesting if you have the next report, so Mike I pass the crown to you and you'll be the next King of Spain

Thanks! Now to ponder what to do for it......I'm thinking of making the report as boring as the race will be....

Gotcha, Mike! You're in for a real treat! It's gonna be even tougher than the Bahrain GP to report!

Here are some free hints:

1) Spaniards don't say 'olé' every two words.

2) Mexico is not part of Spain. So, 'Taco Bell' and references to chihuahuas won't be understood by most Spaniards.

3) Albeit part of a single country, each Spanish region is very sensitive about their personality, culture and tradition. You should not mock them. For example: Catalunya, and Barcelona in particular, consider themselves quite cosmopolite and very cultured. Their language is the Catalá (*) (or Catalán, in Spanish).

4) And never, never, ever mention the 1898 war!! Nor the Armada Invencible while at it.

(*) Which is actually like speaking in Spanish, minus the final letter as you can see, but they think that makes them very different.

But....that leaves me nothing to report on!

I say do. Look into the 1898 hispano-american war and be ready to be stunned. The chapter on what the Americans did on the Philippines' does not fall short of Nazi's doings.

Ah, the good old days.

Again, I say do. Then read on Vernon's brutal failure against a hadnful of Spaniards:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Cartagena_de_Indias

http://www.cartagenainfo.net/glenndavid/blasdelezo.html

I was very surprised when bigotry was unleashed on the Spaniards after Hamilton cried into the scence. So I read some "western" history to see where the British ferociously inferiority complex came from. It's called Edward Vernon and how his brutal defeat against a handful of Spaniards was mandated by the English king to be erased from history records. So the "Armade Invecible" remains a thing to mock (despite weather being the key factor) while Vernon's much larger, and lesser only to Normandy's D-day naval size, is suposed to mean nothing (the Spaniards kicked British arse all the way).

Ah well, that's F1 and the latent bigotries of some, like the late Murray, who have little problem naively confessiing to his nationalistic preferences as well as his phobia towards Spain.

I, for one, must give thanks because "western" history was never of too much interest to me. These past couple of years have been quite enlightening regarding British history and its hypocritical acknowledgment of shortcomings... not to mention their well founded fears. If history is to repeat itself, the Spaniards are going to walk all over you, dear friends.

History is never objective. Only fools believe it to be so. Good to see you're no fool.

[Kopite Girl 0]

Putting my two pence in again, I too am a fan of historical studies! I better had be, as I'm a historical researcher.

[AleHop 0]

1) Spaniards don't say 'olé' every two words.

Olé, olé y olé. Alonso would say toma, toma y toma.

2) Mexico is not part of Spain. So, 'Taco Bell' and references to chihuahuas won't be understood by most Spaniards.

Mexico, California, Nuevo México, Arizona, Texas, Nevada, Florida, Utah, Colorado, Wyoming, Kansas y Oklahoma... Even Argentina.

3) Albeit part of a single country, each Spanish region is very sensitive about their personality, culture and tradition. You should not mock them. For example: Catalunya, and Barcelona in particular, consider themselves quite cosmopolite and very cultured. Their language is the Catalá (*) (or Catalán, in Spanish).

In Madrid we eat the best tripes in the world (callos a la madrileña) and we speak Cheli.

4) And never, never, ever mention the 1898 war!! Nor the Armada Invencible while at it.

It was very depressing in Spain, probably there were many other depressing things at the moment, we still use the sentence más se perdió en Cuba.

(*) Which is actually like speaking in Spanish, minus the final letter as you can see, but they think that makes them very different.

Be careful or you could be accused of catalanofobia.

I say do. Look into the 1898 hispano-american war and be ready to be stunned. The chapter on what the Americans did on the Philippines' does not fall short of Nazi's doings.

Again, I say do. Then read on Vernon's brutal failure against a hadnful of Spaniards:

http://en.wikipedia....agena_de_Indias

http://www.cartagena...blasdelezo.html

I was very surprised when bigotry was unleashed on the Spaniards after Hamilton cried into the scence. So I read some "western" history to see where the British ferociously inferiority complex came from. It's called Edward Vernon and how his brutal defeat against a handful of Spaniards was mandated by the English king to be erased from history records. So the "Armade Invecible" remains a thing to mock (despite weather being the key factor) while Vernon's much larger, and lesser only to Normandy's D-day naval size, is suposed to mean nothing (the Spaniards kicked British arse all the way).

Ah well, that's F1 and the latent bigotries of some, like the late Murray, who have little problem naively confessiing to his nationalistic preferences as well as his phobia towards Spain.

I, for one, must give thanks because "western" history was never of too much interest to me. These past couple of years have been quite enlightening regarding British history and its hypocritical acknowledgment of shortcomings... not to mention their well founded fears. If history is to repeat itself, the Spaniards are going to walk all over you, dear friends.

Great battles maure very few people know about. The defeat of the Spanish Armada was exaggerated and distorted, it was never a real battle. The only battle where Spain suffered a serious defeat fighting against the United Kingdom it was at Trafalgar. And that only happened because a French called Villeneuve was in command of the Spanish troops.

As a fan of history studies myself, however, I invite you to open a thread to discuss these things (the Tf1 report is not a good place...ruins the "atmosphere" to discuss serious and probably controversial matters as this is a place to encourage friendship and fun among members from every nation)

It would be a great idea.

[Schumikonen 2]

Thanks! Now to ponder what to do for it......I'm thinking of making the report as boring as the race will be....

I am absolutly sure that even if this race is another Barhain you will do so much better than the race itself, I just have to think about the Things we lost while looking for a pass" thread and I know that you will do a great job.

[Pucky the Whale 0]

If this violates the rules, don't add me to the list...but...

I'll do a report. But I can only guarantee I will do it for the Canadian Grand Prix. So if I get chosen for Montréal, I will do it. If not, I may or may not actually do whichever week I get chosen for. Why? Montréal is the only race I can guarantee I will watch. And even then I will fail to watch practice because nothing could bore me more. So, if that's too much to ask for, exclude me.

I say do. Look into the 1898 hispano-american war and be ready to be stunned. The chapter on what the Americans did on the Philippines' does not fall short of Nazi's doings.

But...but...but...but Maure! My textbook told me that the heroic U.S. Americans peacefully sent wild, rebellious, and out-of-control freedom-threatening radicals to special zones where everyone would be safe!

[Autumnpuma 0]

If this violates the rules, don't add me to the list...but...

I'll do a report. But I can only guarantee I will do it for the Canadian Grand Prix. So if I get chosen for Montréal, I will do it. If not, I may or may not actually do whichever week I get chosen for. Why? Montréal is the only race I can guarantee I will watch. And even then I will fail to watch practice because nothing could bore me more. So, if that's too much to ask for, exclude me.

Ok, you're added. I'll put a note by your name saying to not pick you unless it's the Canuckian GP. Who knows, someone might actually pick you for it.

[maure 1]

But...but...but...but Maure! My textbook told me that the heroic U.S. Americans peacefully sent wild, rebellious, and out-of-control freedom-threatening radicals to special zones where everyone would be safe!

Don't take it personally. I'm American in everything that matters... Of course, I'm many other things too in everything that matters. It mixes well, you know.

That said, do take it personally, very personally, if in the company of "heroic U.S. Americans peacefully" doing whatever the fck they are doing.

[Autumnpuma 0]