The Cruellest, Yet Funniest Thing...

[Kopite Girl 0]

So, what is the cruellest and twisted thing you have ever done to somebody else. But they have found the funny side.

We have a new cleaner from the Ukraine who's english is absolutely awful and she's not a very nice person. She asked me "Eh. Anyone office there in?" (Anyone in that office) so I replied with a nod. She gave me a god-awful dirty look, and proceeded with what I thought was a curse in Ukraine.

She returns back after about 10 minutes and says to me "Who office in there?" I said to her "Boss." she said "What name she is...?" I turned around and said "F**king W*nker"

She went in the office, said to her "f*cking w*nker need empty bin"

Needless to say the cleaner was mortified, and has since been very nice to me.

[Kati 0]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha u're one of my idols *for this week*

[LabradoRacer 2]

So, what is the cruellest and twisted thing you have ever done to somebody else. But they have found the funny side.

We have a new cleaner from the Ukraine who's english is absolutely awful and she's not a very nice person. She asked me "Eh. Anyone office there in?" (Anyone in that office) so I replied with a nod. She gave me a god-awful dirty look, and proceeded with what I thought was a curse in Ukraine.

She returns back after about 10 minutes and says to me "Who office in there?" I said to her "Boss." she said "What name she is...?" I turned around and said "F**king W*nker"

She went in the office, said to her "f*cking w*nker need empty bin"

Needless to say the cleaner was mortified, and has since been very nice to me.

Intentional?

All the same, very funny.

[LabradoRacer 2]

I forgot "cruellest" too.

I too make many spelling mistakes, btw. So go easy with the rage.

[AleHop 0]

Mine must be somewhere on these forums.

[Kopite Girl 0]

I forgot "cruellest" too.

I too make many spelling mistakes, btw. So go easy with the rage.

Yes. It was intentional. Thats my story and I am sticking to it, you cannot prove otherwise.

[raw 0]

Few years ago I was going to the party at the lakehouse with my friends. Since I was the only one who had a car I had to drive few times back and forth to get everybody there. This was pretty annoying itself. Then on the very last course I picked up my class mate with her boyfriend which I didn't know at all. He was making fun of my car so I did pretty much the same what Ricardo Patrese did to his wife at Jerez. The difference was we we're going through the woods so it looked like a rally special stage and it was getting dark. While the girls did actually like it the annoing guy didn't and the funny part is - he did infact sh*t his pants

[Rainmaster 7]

Few years ago I was going to the party at the lakehouse with my friends. Since I was the only one who had a car I had to drive few times back and forth to get everybody there. This was pretty annoying itself. Then on the very last course I picked up my class mate with her boyfriend which I didn't know at all. He was making fun of my car so I did pretty much the same what Ricardo Patrese did to his wife at Jerez. The difference was we we're going through the woods so it looked like a rally special stage and it was getting dark. While the girls did actually like it the annoing guy didn't and the funny part is - he did infact sh*t his pants

What a p**sa! (maybe that should be what a 's##tter'???)

[AleHop 0]

Few years ago I was going to the party at the lakehouse with my friends. Since I was the only one who had a car I had to drive few times back and forth to get everybody there. This was pretty annoying itself. Then on the very last course I picked up my class mate with her boyfriend which I didn't know at all. He was making fun of my car so I did pretty much the same what Ricardo Patrese did to his wife at Jerez. The difference was we we're going through the woods so it looked like a rally special stage and it was getting dark. While the girls did actually like it the annoing guy didn't and the funny part is - he did infact sh*t his pants

That was cruellest, yet cruellest...

[dribbler 6]

My friend had a Triumph Acclaim. I put fish in the fresh air supply for the heater. He had to sell the car. Oh, how i lauged. He's not my friend anymore.

[Oli 1]

I once cut the head off a cute puppy with a pair of rusty scissors.

That was hilarious, but I have to admit quite cruel.

[F1 FANatic 1]

Few years ago I was going to the party at the lakehouse with my friends. Since I was the only one who had a car I had to drive few times back and forth to get everybody there. This was pretty annoying itself. Then on the very last course I picked up my class mate with her boyfriend which I didn't know at all. He was making fun of my car so I did pretty much the same what Ricardo Patrese did to his wife at Jerez. The difference was we we're going through the woods so it looked like a rally special stage and it was getting dark. While the girls did actually like it the annoing guy didn't and the funny part is - he did infact sh*t his pants

HAHA

I love doing that, the look on peoples face when they get out and look like they are going to puke. And it gets really great when they first exclaim how great a driver they are and why they should drive your car instead of you yourself.

[Jenson_Rules 0]

Ummm not proud of it, but i p**sed on my mate when drunk and he was passed out, and then me and some of the other not passed out guys shaved his eyebrows off!

[Rainmaster 7]

Ummm not proud of it, but i p**sed on my mate when drunk and he was passed out, and then me and some of the other not passed out guys shaved his eyebrows off!

Is he proud of it???

[Quiet One 15]

Ok, not that cruel but funny anyways:

Have you ever seen one of those drums of string the pizza guys use to tie up the boxes? Once I was really bored and decided to tie that string to my friend's pants neither my friend nor the pizza guy noticed so he walked away. He walked a good 50 metres distance before the pizza guy noticed his string drum was spinning like crazy. He went outside with two big and rather fierce looking friends. By that time I had disappeared in some other shop so they got my friend and scared the s##t out of him who was completely obliviouis as to what made those guys so mad at him.

[BradSpeedMan 6]

I once cut the head off a cute puppy with a pair of rusty scissors.

That was hilarious, but I have to admit quite cruel.

Oli ...are you serious or what???

[Oli 1]

I never joke about my work.

[goferrarigo 0]

I have done the good and old pulling the chair from a guy before he sits... He didn't get that much hurt from falling down as much as banding his head against the desk while getting up... That was pretty funny...

[armil 3]

One time I go with some 8 or 10 friends to the movies, one of them wasn't very friendly with me and we get sitting together at the end of the line. the movie was very bad mafia movie without a good story so my "friend" sleeps most of the movie, when the movie end he wake up and we go to have dinner and talk about the movie... well he ask me about the movie so he can talk in the restaurant I naturally told him about another movie a romatic movie I think and I told about the drama the scenarios the simbolism. So when we get to the restaurant somebody ask what you think of the movie my "friend" start telling them about the other movie with all the details I told him...all the group have this weird look like "what the hell is this guy talking about" I was trying not to laugth so loud but eventually he has to admit he spend all the movie sleping I wonder why he didn't talk to me anymore

[goferrarigo 0]

One time I go with some 8 or 10 friends to the movies, one of them wasn't very friendly with me and we get sitting together at the end of the line. the movie was very bad mafia movie without a good story so my "friend" sleeps most of the movie, when the movie end he wake up and we go to have dinner and talk about the movie... well he ask me about the movie so he can talk in the restaurant I naturally told him about another movie a romatic movie I think and I told about the drama the scenarios the simbolism. So when we get to the restaurant somebody ask what you think of the movie my "friend" start telling them about the other movie with all the details I told him...all the group have this weird look like "what the hell is this guy talking about" I was trying not to laugth so loud but eventually he has to admit he spend all the movie sleping I wonder why he didn't talk to me anymore

btw Welcome back to the forums....

[hookedon-f1 0]

Couple of years back we used to ride horses at a place that had huge fields. There used to be these annoying birds that would always get in the way and fly up out of the grass and scare the horses.

One of the guys told my sister that these birds if they were flying in the air above you would dive bomb you and peck your eyes out.

So the next day we were walking in the field and these birds were flying around quite low. She started screaming, covered her eyes and started run downhill waving one arm above her head and shouting HELP HELP.

We were all laughing too hard to tell her that infact the birds were not dangerous.

She has not forgiven us to this day.

[Grabthaw the Hammerslayer 4]

One of the suppliers I used to work with was a really nice guy but very gullible. I told him that I had seen an article in a magazine about a new product from Lotus (the software company) called "Electric Windows" which added lots of functionality to Windows. I said I was interested in buying lots of licenses (which got his attention).

He went off and came back, said: "I can't find anything on this and I even checked with the Lotus User Group and they haven't heard of it either" - so I said "hang on, I know its new - I'm sure I saw it in a magazine somewhere...." franticly waving at my colleagues, I whispered to them to quickly look up the number for Lotus Cars, which they did. Gave him the number.

I then phoned his work and spoke to one of his colleagues who I knew and sat opposite the poor unsuspecting victim and I warned him....

So he phoned up Lotus and the conversation went like this....

"Hello is that Lotus"

"Yes, can I help you?"

"Can I speak to someone about Electric Windows?"

"Certainly sir" (putting call through to their spares department) ....call goes through

"Do you sell Electric Windows?"

"Yes, sir indeed we do"

"Oh I was just wondering if you could send me some information"

"You want information on our Windows? Which model do you have?"

(slightly confused) "Model?"

"Yes sir, for which model do you want the electric windows?"

(Panicking slightly) "Does it make a difference?"

"Of course, each model has a different size"

(Reality dawning on him) - er this is Lotus Software isn't it?......

At this point the whole office was cracked up - cue an embarassed sales guy trying to extricate himself from the conversation - poor guy the other end was even more confused!!

Worked even better than I expected....

He was known as Mr Halfords after that (non UK-ers, Halfords is a chain of motoring spares stores)

[maure 1]

I submit the last GP of 2007, Brazil, from pole to flag...

[Oli 1]

I submit the last GP of 2007, Brazil, from pole to flag...

That was you in Hamilton's car? I knew it!

Next year we're all going to be discussing Mauregate.

[maure 1]

You got to admit it was both a cruel and fun ending to the season... perhaps the most cruel and funniest of all possible.